What is our purpose?

How do we discover our purpose?

Is God’s purpose for our lives the same as our own?

How do we live purposefully?

How do we align with God’s purpose for our lives?

How do we live in our purpose?

On Spoken Word by Joshua T Berglan, we discuss Purpose and what God says about why we were created and what we should do about it.

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Joshua T Berglan

 

Joshua T Berglan, aka The World’s Mayor, is a voice for the voiceless and is driven to elevate the passion, purpose, and mission of those he serves. Joshua is the Chairman of the Live Mana Worldwide Foundation & Live Mana Network, Shock-Jock Evangelist, International #1 Best Selling Author for the Book “The Devil Inside Me” a Producer, and Filmmaker. Joshua is an expert in the future of media and loves supporting others in helping make their dreams come true.

TRANSCRIPT 

Unknown Speaker

Joshua T Berglan
Welcome to spoken word, I’m Joshua. Joshua T Berglan. I forgot I didn’t forget my name. I just have this thing when I do introductions I they’re never the same. Maybe I was never meant for talk radio for that reason, because I can’t hit the mark. Oh, thank you for being a part of spoken word by Joshua to Berglan so blessed to have you here today on the live mana network. And of course you can there we go. I got it right. This time, you can scan that barcode. And you can find information for our network or book. Everything that we do with mana worldwide Foundation, and boy, even so that different today just truth be told, one of the things that about these broadcasts that I love is that I just get to sit here and talk and share what’s on my heart. And today we’re going to talk about purpose and and I’m laughing because like right before all of this for the literally for the last 45 minutes, I’ve been fighting with my green screen. And because I liked the black backdrop, and you know, I want to do different things. But I’m having fits with my green screen. And I’m getting so mad. And oh my gosh, it this has been this has almost been an hour of messing around with this, all the energy and all the fire. And all the passion that I had to do this broadcast was fizzling out with my frustration. And I like you know, what is my purpose? Is my purpose to have the perfect backdrop the perfect studio? Or is it to share what God has put on my heart and to share my experience with the Lord, and how my purpose and what I believe my purpose and how just how I don’t have the words, I don’t have the words. And here’s why. Because I going into this was so passionate, because I’m going to talk about purpose. And I’m going to talk about this and talk about all the exciting stuff that comes with purpose. Because there’s nothing more exciting to read about in the Word of God, then verses about your purpose. And we’re gonna get into that. It’s it’s the most gratifying. It’s the most Spirit filling, it’s everything. And why is that? Because I can read about obedience. And I can read about, you know, all the different sins of the world and all the things that I’m supposed to do and the things that I’m not supposed to do. But nothing fires me up more than talking about purpose. And any of you out there that are listening right now that you you’ve gone through, you’re on this path to your purpose, or you’re living purposefully or you’re pursuing your dreams, you know that it’s not always perfect, you know that it’s kind of ugly, in fact, pretty much the path the purpose is about the sloppiest the roughest, most frustrating thing in the world. But it’s also the most uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, heart changing, life changing. It’s all of that and it’s only fitting that I would butcher the beginning of this broadcast because I’ve done it so much. I think about the very first talk show I started which was mourning gratitude with the mayor and it changed to gratitude unfiltered and all those different variations and now I have a conversation with Joshua T Berglund and now spoken word by Joshua T Berglund. I get to do all of these fun amazing things and try different you know whether it’s a different style of broadcast or a different message, but all the same. I’m getting to live in my purpose. It just looks different each time each. Each new attempt at trying something new each new attempt at going for a vision that God has given me.

It’s its core, it’s all the same thing. It’s all my purpose. What is my purpose? Well, I don’t know. I mean, I have part of my purpose, which is to be a voice for the voiceless. But also, I’m driven to elevate other voices for the voiceless other truth tellers, other people who have a heart for God that, you know, may not be picture perfect and, and, and all excellent. Like, for instance, me. I’m not excellent. I’m not great. I’m not a biblical scholar. I don’t know, I couldn’t I don’t know if I have a Bible verse memorized. I mean, I know I, some of you, like I don’t know. But all the while the purpose that I have is to serve using my gifts and my talents. And maybe I’m not that talented. But you know what, it’s in my heart, to use this platform, to share where I’m at to share what God’s showing me in hopes that it speaks to one person that is going through something similar, or to one person who can relate to where I’m at. It’s been a sloppy, ugly journey since I gave my life to the Lord. My dream as a child was to be a talk show host. I wanted to be Oprah Don Imus, Opie and Anthony Howard Stern, I wanted to be all of that. Never my wildest dreams. Because I never went to broadcasting school. I never. I never went to a Media School. In fact, when I went to school, I either was cheating to pass like growing up because I never studied I never read I never did any of those things. I have no interest in school. I was I love my job fighting on behalf of people with complex disabilities was one of the A gave me purpose even when I was a junkie, and a deadbeat, and, and all the bad things. For some reason, I loved fighting on behalf of other people, no matter where I was at in life, no matter how strong out I was on meth or cocaine, no matter how bad I was afflicted by the the rage and, and in the anger and the hostility in the last of the the blood lust for chem, sex, and all of those things, no matter what evil I was doing, for some reason. For some reason, when I saw an injustice, it did something to me, it changed me all of a sudden, I got out of myself. And into my purpose, which was to serve. My purpose really isn’t to be a talk show host or to be a speaker, or a writer or filmmaker or any of that stuff. My purpose is to use my gifts to be a blessing to other people, and whatever way that comes out. And that is the most amazing thing about God is we pretty much get to choose and I believe that we are created to do certain things, but how we go about it, I think we get the free will to do that. How far do you want to take it some people would settle for just talking about God at a coffee shop, some people want to take it to the next level. None of it’s wrong. None of it’s wrong. When our purpose is a little screwed up, or when we think well I’m in back that up. Our purpose has really nothing to do with us except for the fact that we get to experience joy. When we’re living in it when we’re operating in our gifts. We’re blessing other people we’re using our gifts and talents to bless other people like that is that is really at the EPA, the epicenter of what our purpose is, is to serve others and not to serve ourselves. That I am so grateful that the the life of evil that I’ve lived.

And look, I’m not going to sit here and act like even though I’ve been walking with the Lord for six years, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m some squeaky clean, pure guy. I’m not. I’m not at all. I would like to sit here and pretend that even though I’ve given my life to the Lord, and I’ve served and I’ve worked on obedience so hard, and strive to be obedient. I’m not gonna sit here and act like I won’t stare at a pair of boobs for too long. I’m not gonna sit here and act like I don’t battle with the thoughts of have I mean I again I was a 20 year Chem sex addict you know me hours of insanity. It’s insanity. Have upsets of porn and just it all gross. I, and I fight that, like, I created this habit where when something was wrong and I was struggling, I was angry, I was mad, the only outlet that I had, that I told myself was getting high and having sex. I cannot think of any worse way to crap on your purpose, to use your creative energy, when it could be used in the arts and creating things with CO creating with God, getting to create content or, or movie or a book, instead of that squandering all my energy and my purpose for sex and drugs, and then after that rides over, that could last three to four days, then then I feel like crap for another week. And then after that, I wake up and go, I’m not gonna do that anymore. And then went back to it. This was all before Jesus. By the way, that said, all those things that I did, when things aren’t going well, when things are, it seems like it’s taking a little bit longer than it should, you know, waiting on God, the guy that’s always on time, but he’s never early, getting frustrated with all of that, or getting let down, getting into my getting into my feelings and letting my feelings get hurt. Because I, I don’t know, you know, said something that offended somebody. So they said something back that offended me or made me upset or someone criticize me, or someone made fun of my, my green screen problems or whatever it may be. Like, it didn’t take it doesn’t take much. Sometimes for me to get my head. For all the healing that I’ve done with having di D, I set a switch for the first time in months. That lasted a week. It was awful. And you know what, when I switch, there ain’t nothing really loving about me. I’m not really, really, really like, connected with God, and connected with why He created me and, and connected to doing the things that he’s called me to do. I lose sight of it sometimes. And sometimes I’m going through the motions. You know, sometimes I’m just like, Okay, I’m acting in faith, but I’m not feeling it right now. I know what I’m created to do. I know what I’m supposed to do. But sometimes I just don’t feel like it. Because I’m in a bad mood. I’ve switched something I let things get to me that should not have given that it should not have gotten to me. I I get my head about pointless things and I get distracted from my purpose and what I’m supposed to do. I am a disrupter. I am a disrupter. But not a disrupter. to lash out and hurt other people. I’m a disrupter to disrupt the norm to wake people up to the truth of what God has for us. But also to wake people up that God has not done with you yet. Because God created you for one of the every single one of you have this unique, really cool, amazing purpose. Every single one of you are creative or something and I don’t care. If you were born with cerebral palsy, and you’ve had it for 39 years, guess what, you have a purpose. If you’re gay, if you’re a chem sex addict, if you’re a drag queen, if you are a criminal, if you are a junkie, if you are an abuser, if you are, God has a purpose for you. There is a purpose for your creation.

The very point I mean there’s a lot of points of giving your life to the Lord. But after you’ve been saved, isn’t it our duty to go out and save the plate people that are stuck in the place that you came from? That that’s part of your purpose. Everything that you’ve been freed from you get to go. You get permission. You have a certificate, you have the college credit, you have the degree whatever you want to call it, what you’ve been saved from, is then it’s your duty, your purpose to go out and save the ones that are stuck, where you were freed from That’s one element of purpose. Purpose has so many different branches. But in the end, it is solely about God using us to be the hands and feet of Jesus, while we’re waiting on his return, to be a blessing to those that need it. That want it. And until they want it until they realize they need it, we just get to act like Jesus, to the best of our ability. That in itself is part of our purpose. So I want to get into today, I want to get into what the Bible says about purpose. And I thank you for being here. And that was a very sloppy beginning. But this is how it is. It’s not always perfect, it’s not polished, it’s not always going to be perfect. But the beauty of that is, God can take those imperfections and use every single bit of it, the imperfections of your life, the imperfections of your sin, God can use it, once you give it to him. God can use you. Once you give yourself to him, I mean, God use it can use you no matter what, because He’s God, and I’m not. But when God really can use you, like for instance, the enemy can be used for God’s purposes. Evil, sometimes God can use evil for His purpose. Absolutely. But there’s not a relationship there. So you don’t really get used the way that you were intended to throughout the days of your life. But when you give up your life, for the life he has for you, you get to be used all the time. You get to make it where even when you mess up, God can still use you God on the path to your purpose, the path to what you were created to do. You’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna fail, you’re gonna say the wrong thing, you’re gonna do the wrong thing, you’re gonna make a bad business decision. But you know what? In Christ, all those bad or the perceived bad things get to be used for His glory. God is the God of make of taking mistakes and making it extraordinary. How else can you explain the lives of so many of you have left you have lived to me? Me, you? Not all of you. But some of you know what hell is. Some of you are still living in it. And you gave your life to the Lord already. What are you hanging on to? Why are why are you withholding things from God to us? Because God will use everything. And because he’s a god of purpose. You were created for a reason. So what does God say about it? Let’s get into it. Heavenly Father, thank you so much. I love getting to broadcast. And I love the fact that you’ve helped me understand that sometimes imperfect, imperfect imperfection can be perfect. Because if there’s nothing wrong and everything smooth. What is it like? Like, what do you where do you get to show up and show God where you get to show your God is in our errors? And where we fall short where we are weak.

You’re strong. This is why you get the glory for a purpose. Do you get to why we recreated? This is about you. And yeah, we get to we get to do some really cool stuff. Really exciting stuff. In fact, we get to do the things that we’ve always dreamed of when we’re with you. And that’s the life. That’s the life that’s worth living. So Father, I pray that in your Word today, I’m able to like give me the words for I mean, I know they’re your words in the Bible, not mine. But give me the words to say to help people understand just how special they are to you and why you created them. To do something extraordinary, uniquely for them. Give me the words. And Jesus name, amen. Praying for me is so awkward. I always, and I make this mistake a lot as I listen to other people pray and like, Oh man, I’m really pray, I stink at this it’s interesting. You have literally in the moment just now was like, gosh, that prayer was terrible. I wish I had all the scripted prayers and all the magic words and all that stuff. But the fact is this, I’m nothing without God. I’m not very good at any of this without God. And I just want to be a vessel and to be used regardless of what the outcome is. Prayer is the most powerful thing in the world. And I beat myself up, sometimes I take the joy out of praying, because I get mad that my prayer wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. That happens in my personal life too, by the way, not just like in the middle of the broadcast. Anyway, let’s see what the Bible says. Everyone knows this verse. Jeremiah 2911, for I know, the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. That verse is used so much. And I don’t know. If when people use that they fully get the depth of it. God, before you were even created knew his plans for you. The DNA like the way your DNA is put together as because that is part of his plan for you. So there’s not a single thing like premature balding or acne or impotence or whatever it may be diabetes, cancer, he knows all these things. He knows that you’re going to be abused, he knows that you’re going to be ridiculed. He knows you’re going to be cheated on. He knows you’re going to be neglected. He knows that your heart is going to get broken. But what if I told you even in that he has a purpose for you? What if I told you that part of that was your purpose

everything that the enemy meant to destroy you, to kill you, to wreck you with gets to be used for the glory of God and your purpose. It gets to be used for your good some people don’t like it when I say this, but I also believe that it’s the ultimate revenge on the enemy when you’re using what the devil meant to take you out with when you’re using that to bless and to help and to rescue other people. You are you’re basically burning putting burning coals on of course, I don’t know if burning coals would actually hurt the devil because he’s already hot. But what anyway, you know what I mean? It’s like putting coal burning coals in its eyes. Because it was supposed to take you out. The devil’s plan was to destroy you. The devil’s plan was to distract you from what God created you from the reason why to go back to the SEC stuff. And this is for me. I don’t know if it’s for you. But I’m sure that there’s something out there maybe it’s chasing money chasing money has nothing to do with your purpose. But all the devil has to do is distract you. So if he’s got if you’re a creator, you’re an artist prime example. Well, if you’re wasting your your your energy, your source energy, your sexual energy, which is all the same thing, by the way, with your creative energy, your sexual energy and your creative energy or this saying, like they’re virtually I pretty much think. I don’t know the science behind it, but it’s the same thing. Same thing. And if you were meant to create Michelangelo, the, I can’t even think of a painting. The Mona Lisa, like, that’s what you’re created to do, right is to create a, an epic painting, or an epic film, or to be, you know, to be a mother. to, to, to a mother to the world. You know, there’s people like that there’s, there’s all kinds of different things. But if you’re preoccupied with your distraction, you’re using your energy over here when it was meant to be here, God, I hope I explained that correctly. The devil, like, all he has to do, like this is what the the trouble with sin is. I mean, there’s a lot of trouble. It’s like it’s death. It’s absolutely death. But in the death, part of that death is when you are not living it the way that God created you to live in for the purposes He created you to live in. That’s death. That’s death. I think all the time like I ran, even when God would show me what he had for me, I might, I don’t want the responsibility of that. I’m running. I’m running away from you. And the more I ran away from my purpose, the more evil and more destruction I did, and maybe you’re not as extreme as I am. Because you know, I’m pretty extreme. But the more you are, you’re absent, the more you were absent from living in your purpose in that process and CO creating with God, the more that you are absent, the faster you’re going to die. It’s like sitting in a nursing home rotting away. It’s the ultimate expression of lukewarm. I pretty much I don’t know if this is a fact and i i cannot back this up with the Bible. But I’m pretty confident that God would rather you be evil than look warm. Because what’s lukewarm? Nothing can’t do anything with it. Just bla bla. I’d rather be screamed at than ignored. God can use evil God can use anger, God can use hostility. You’re basically a loogie. If you’re lukewarm, that’s all you are. Spit on the sidewalk.

You’d rather you’d be evil, make a choice. Make a decision. Because if you’re lukewarm, you’re just like sitting, you’re going nowhere. You sit on the couch eating Funyuns. That’s an expression. I don’t know. Anyway, Romans 828. And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose. When I was saying like when you make mistakes, when I was saying, you know, when you fail, or you you get mad, and you tell someone to eff off. Like in you hurt somebody. That’s not very fun. But the thing is, if you do the things that you’re called to do, especially in that situation where you repent or you, you ask you, you say you’re sorry, or you apologize, God can use that for good. God can use these mistakes as a teaching moment. So if your heart is truly living for Him, and you truly want to live, for the purpose that He created you for, everything’s going to work out. That’s the most amazing thing to me. That’s the most amazing part so you can live free. Like, I mean, seriously think of just three is a bird. I mean, that is life. And don’t get me that’s life with the Lord, if you want it to be and it’s a lot easier to fly and to soar when nothing’s weighing you down. And you know what weighs you down sin, resentment, anger, hostility, rage. Perceive and God will use that so you can free fly again. Because you can repent. God can teach you something And when you do make mistakes and to apologize for quickly move on or to when you know you sin, and to repent and move and turn away from it, God is going to use the mistake for good. That’s freedom. It’s also the same thing. And this is not really on topic, but I remember grahamcooke talking about in Christ, the outcome is guaranteed victory. We’re the only ones that win in the end. In Christ, those who are in Christ. Those who don’t, He is our Lord and Savior, the outcome is guaranteed, because that is the promise of God. Victory. All Things will work out together for your good for good. And you doing good is helping other people be good. But we make this mistake of forgetting Romans 828. When we’re caught up in our religion, crap, and we’re trying to be too good, I don’t care about being good. I want to please the Lord. But I’m not trying to make anyone else happy. Most of the time, because, you know, ego kicks in. I’m not perfect here by any means. But even like, struggle with lust, you know, because I get those old images of the things could be in especially when, like, if I detach, and I go through a switch with the ID, and I’m not filling the spirit, I’m not like I’m just dead. And my wife knows that I’m not present. It’s like I’m on the outside of my body, looking into this person going through the motions, like, just waiting to be hit by a semi, because that’s kind of what it feels like. There’s lifeless body. That is what I’m like without Jesus. And I’m seeking for destruction I’m seeking for, for for more pain. Even though it may seem like pleasure, it may seem like something a relief, or may seem like something just to make me feel again. But without Jesus, I am dead, I’m in my sin, I got no chance of surviving or accomplishing anything good. Without my connection to the Lord Jesus Christ. There’s no other way for me. And I’m reminded of it, I’m reminded of just how scary life is without him. When I

get out of myself. When I allow outside circumstances to stir up chaos here in my heart. I’m nothing. But I thank God every day that he gives me an opportunity to make those moments, right. I’ve been gone basically for a week not feeling like myself ever since I fell out of that tree. It’s just like, it just things have been off. Finally came back into my body and I felt the Lord during an amazing lunch. This is why I swear to you. This is why fellowship so important. Because you can be sitting there with another like you’re supposed to be in a business meeting and you start talking about Jesus. And all of a sudden in that business meeting. The light bulb goes back on because of fellowship being with other believers. It’s another part of what we’re supposed to do. I don’t know where I was going with that. I just felt like sharing it. Proverbs 16 Nine the heart of man plans his way but the Lord establishes his steps. So I’m not an expert on what this means. But I want to say this where my heart like if my heart is toxic it’s going to toxic stuff it’s going to toxic stuff but if I’m if my heart is pure in his intentional towards the Lord I’m I’m on the path like the Holy Spirit can go pull me by the chest hairs and just and I’m going but when I don’t have that I’m not obedient to it. I’m not obedient. the call. And that’s the thing about the relationship, why it’s so important. Like why in the heck would you wait till Sunday to try to get some more of the Holy Spirit? Or to get closer to get more intimate? Why? Like church should be seven days a week like church with God, you and God your time your relationship getting to know him, it should be I know for me, if I was to wait till Sunday, I’d probably go on another meth binge. Because I need him all the time. And I’m reminded of it my failure in my sin, I’m reminded of it when I’m detached from who I really am. I’m reminded of just how lost I am. I need the Lord. Because no, this is not because I need the Lord. Because it’s the only time that I feel like I’m I don’t, there’s only time I feel joy. It’s the only time I’m truly intentional, in a good way, because I can be intentional for bad. But the other part of it is, when I’m connected. All those things that I dreamed about as a kid. And throughout my life of this life that I wanted, and the things that I wanted to do. The not it wasn’t even about accomplishments about getting to do it. All of a sudden, it’s like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, mini breakthrough, mini breakthrough mini breakthrough, just reminders that I’m on the path to my destiny. And then in the further I go in the moral bedient that I am, the more the vision becomes more clear. And the more the fruit is plentiful. It’s it’s just amazing, beautiful thing. But I can’t do it without God and I can’t do it. Without being obedient and being connected to the Holy Spirit. I can’t. I don’t understand people that think they can. Ephesians 111. In Him, we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him, who works all things according to the counsel of his will. In Him we have obtained an inheritance having been predestined according to the purpose of him

who works all things according to the counsel of his will, sounds like God has our life designed, yet he still gives us free will to make our knucklehead decisions. But the minute we get right with God, right back into the path we go may have to adjust some timelines. You know, there may be a little bit of delay. But God has this amazing purpose for you. And all you have to do is choose his will and here’s the weird thing about it. Way It’s I’m I’m I don’t want to do what anyone tells me to do. Like I’ve just now gotten to the point where if my wife tells me to do something, I’m like, okay, honey, and mean it. But I don’t like being told what to do. But I’ll be obedient to the call. Because when I once I learned obedience I really learned what a relationship with the Lord is all about. And these rules and these things that he doesn’t want you to do, are really, really for your own good. Because when I get in my head about all the like the sex and the drugs and these things that I want to do that pop in my mind from time to time, or I dream about when that happens. Like I sometimes forget that that’s how I got HIV in the first place.

That’s I didn’t get it from eating Cheerios. Got it from seeking pleasure to erase the pain I was feeling and it’s Some point I don’t even know if it was even pain, I was just addicted and became like this robotic machine, that the only obedience that I was gonna have is whatever the devil was tempting me to do, I was just gonna give it out, it’s good, let’s do it. Like I didn’t even have the discipline enough to go, hey, you know, probably smoking, that stuff is gonna make your teeth fall out. Or you’re gonna give yourself a venereal disease, or you’re going to end up homeless sometimes forget all that stuff happened when I get in my head and distracted with these thoughts, or my anger, or my rage

but this purpose that He has for us, like when we figure out that, hey, actually, what God wants for our life is actually what I I really deep down want from my own life. I don’t want to be have a disease, I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to be out of control. I don’t want to surrender my power to anyone much less a stupid drug that really is only going to make me hate myself. Or, or going out and sleeping with you know, whoever and, and whatever. Pleasure are good that I think that that’s going to do. Really Honestly, all it’s going to do is make me hate myself. And then then I’m going to have to come on a broadcast and say, Yeah, I had a relapse again. Because that’s the agreement I have with God is that I do stupid stuff like that. I’m going to talk about it. I don’t fear that I don’t fear judgment from other people anymore. Because I know I’m not going to be perfect but dead gum and I’m going to try. And the only way I know to try to be more like Jesus is if when I sin to confess it and repent from it in move on in runaway.

First Corinthians 619 20 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, you are not your own, for you are bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. I don’t think this applies to non believers, correct me if I’m wrong, could be wrong. But I believe this is a talking to believers

it’s so interesting to me that I can look back now at all those times that I was in my head craving drugs. You got to understand I knew my purpose when I was seven. I knew what I was supposed to do. But ignored it ran from it. Drink and oh and I know what I was gonna say the D, the, the discernment of none other discernment. Like when I would have those cravings in my head and I would get the images that made me want it so bad. I remember in the pit of my stomach this sick feeling that I ignored and I was like God I got I’m gonna get I’m gonna push through this. So I’m going to start numbing as quickly as possible. I’m going to drink that discernment down. So now I can go to my drugs and not feel bad about it. Sometimes I’ve just go right to the drugs if they were available, I went right to the drugs because I didn’t really like drinking. But see that delay of time between the delay of time from getting the drugs and that sick feeling sometimes like you know waiting on the dealer. They tell you I’ll be right there and it’s two hours later it’s kind of like in jail if you ask for something to read this I’ll be right back and they show up three hours later. Thank God they brought me a Bible. Um, but it’s the same thing. It’s like this waiting this waiting for the drugs and I have time to be sick. So what I do go out and drink I’m gonna numb that. Because the whole time it was the Holy Spirit. No, don’t do that to me. Don’t do that to me. Don’t don’t poison me. Like it every now I think about it, like, I’m so glad to be back to be able to say why would I want? Why would I want to poison my spirit? Why would I want to lose the very thing that helps me experience a life that I have now. And I’m not saying this to brag. It’s not like we’re rich. It’s not about that. But I have a wife who loves me. I have two kids that love me. I didn’t have any of that. And I’ve had children before. I’ve been married before. I’ve had other relationships. They all hate me. And rightfully so. But because of Jesus because of Jesus, the failure of a man that I had been my entire life changed. Have a happy marriage. I love being a dad. I we rotate kids, like not every week, one week on one week off, that is our arrangement. Don’t like it when the kids aren’t here. I miss them. I’ve never liked kids. I’ve never wanted to be a dead and now it’s all I want. And to be a good husband and to make my wife happy

I want to make my family proud. I want to meet my wife proud. I want to I want to be a good role model for my little girls. I want them to be proud of me. That’s Jesus I cheated on everyone. I neglected seeing my twins because I cared more about Beth, cocaine and sex with people that don’t even know my name

I get to live the life of my dreams. And that gets to happen after all the bad I did. That’s Jesus. There is no one else. It’s Jesus. Only Jesus has the power to take all the things that were meant to kill you and for to give you life like how can I say that? I’m grateful that I’ve HIV to be grateful that I’ve been divorced three times. lost the right to see my kids have been homeless. Bankrupt twice wasted. Every opportunity and amazing gift that I have been blessed to experience to have wasted so much time running from the very thing that was gonna bring me the most joy but I was chasing it through women, men, transsexuals, meth, cocaine, alcohol, all of it. None of that fulfilled me. None of it. Why is it that most people are miserable when they’re rich? But what they find joy when they lose everything? Maybe not right away. But why is that? That in itself will tell you that what the world has for you is not anywhere close to what the Lord created you for and living in that is freedom its power it’s knowing your identity there’s no racism in purpose there is no gender confusion in purpose

there’s no hate and purpose

Ephesians 210 For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them Ephesians 2894 by grace you have been saved through faith and this is not your own doing it is a gift from God not a result of works so that no one may boast think about this for a second. The post on Twitter like I’ve done I know I’ve done it post on Facebook Twitter for social media bragging about what we’ve accomplished. I can’t even fathom I didn’t accomplish anything without Jesus. And I think of all these manmade things that I’ve been I have accomplished or have been rewarded for this trophy for one best voiceover Las Vegas Film Awards I hate this trophy because it’s like I did something I did the work yeah this doesn’t mean anything to me. I thought it was going to mean something to me it doesn’t mean anything to me I’ve this the devil inside me my testimony story like all I wanted to do was impact people’s lives. I wanted to show people who God did for me

I wanted to show what God could do for you this trophy really doesn’t mean jack crap it’s man deciding that I deserved an award but really all I wanted to do was to try to help people help set people free and that’s by sharing what Jesus can do for you and what he did for me i There’s no greater reward than that feeling in your spirit that you’ve made God happy. It’s far superior to any stupid trophy or certificate. We’ve got I took them all down I had all these award things up and they just told me anything

it’s so funny I think about it’s that the idea when you go into competition the idea of winning is like I can’t play Uno without talking trash. I couldn’t you I haven’t played golf in years but I promise you if we weren’t on a golf course right now I would talk so much trash to you. Because I will I like to win

but then as soon as I win it’s like it’s fleeting that how Happiness. It’s like it’s not even real, it’s synthetic. But there’s something about walking in your purpose, and doing something that God has asked you to do, whether it’s go say a word to somebody that’s a stranger or, or, or whatever do serving whatever it may be. And you know, that and then God in that moment showed up and showed out like something miraculous happened. It was a divine connection, however you want to call it, but you just know that you had a moment with God, and you got to share it with another human being. And there’s something about that joy that outweighs everything else manmade, and manufactured.

Ephesians, two 110. And you were dead in the trespasses and sin in which you walked, following the course of this world, following the prints of the power of the air, the spirit is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and mind. And we’re, by nature, children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, been rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He has loved us. Even when we were dead, in our trespasses made us alive together with Christ, by grace, you have been saved.

I really don’t like the way the church talks about being saved as a whole.

Because even that feels manufactured. At least the way they do it in church, where they’re trying to get you to get saved and raise your hand and they say the same stupid prayer over and over and over again. It makes it makes why I’m getting mad. Why? I don’t have I don’t preach at church. It but it makes me mad. It makes me mad. Because I don’t know how in your heart that can be for you. But maybe it’s because I’m coming from a place of absolute worthlessness. And, and and brokenness, and anger and everything else, that when I gave my life to the Lord, it was I’m going to basically die now so that I can have life

because I was dead before Christ. I can’t explain the supernatural phenomenon that is with Jesus, but it is extraordinary. And it’s not always perfect. Oh my god, it’s not always perfect. But his grace is I swear to you, I did not plan on crime ah.

And you know

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you’re never going to crave drugs again. You’re never going to get angry again. You’re never going to tell somebody to go F themselves. I’m not going to tell you that you’re never going to lust again. I’m not going to tell you any of that with Jesus you are. But the thing is, what’s going to happen with Jesus. When you do those things. You’re going to feel like death. Because what it is to me when you sin after you’ve been freed from that and you allow it back in your life. It’s just a it’s just a reminder of the death. The Jesus went through and what I went through what you went through, it’s a reminder that hurts. It’s Post a hurt. It’s supposed to hurt when you wrong another believer it’s supposed to hurt when you when you disobey your Creator, it’s supposed to hurt when you hurt the people you love, and you fall short. But it’s not supposed to kill you. It’s supposed to remind you that there is a better life for you. And choosing him is a life. We walk in a land of zombies right now, with no life, just going through the motions, watching the freaking news every day, all day watching the news, reading the newspaper, and they’re all lying to you and you don’t know what to believe. You don’t know if you should be scared, you don’t know if you should sell everything you don’t know if you should go dig a hole under the ground and hide for the rest of your life you don’t know. Like there’s just they don’t know what to do.

Ephesians is it the same one is the same one. How did I do that twice. I want to read this one again. And you were dead in the trespasses and sin in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, Satan. The spirit is now at work in the sons of disobedience, among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind. And we’re by nature, children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God being rich in mercy because of the great love with which He loved us. Even when we were dead in our trespasses made us alive together with Christ. And by grace, you have been saved

it’s the most wonderful life. The life that God has for you. There is no better life. I did all the things was an aihole with money because a junkie and abuser. Abuse abused, diseased, all the things completely dead and a waste of my purpose

but because of Jesus, not only do I get to live in my purpose, I get to live free. And the more I learned to distrust what he says and quit thinking about what the world says. The stronger, more bold, more purposeful and more joy I get to live in. I want the same for you. God bless you. Thank you for watching.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai