Jessica Linn joins Joshua “The World’s Mayor” and special guest Miracle Sims for an interesting conversation about God, Sex and Love in the first segment. To close Joshua shares a personal message from his heart about his journey with DID, sexuality, being the man God created him to be and discovering Truth.

Want to know more about DID and Sexuality? Click here.   

Meet Miracle

Wife and Mother of One, Miracle Sims is a versatile talent! Since she received her Associate’s Degree in theatre at Gordon College in 2006 she has been acting, writing, singing, and songwriting independently. She is currently the owner of several business endeavors, and she is also host and creator of the podcast and talk show “God, Sex, and Love” and author of several books including “The Cultivation Period: A Single Christian’s Journey

For more about Miracle go to  ActressMiracleSims.com

 

Visit GodSexandLove.com to watch her weekly talk show and/or listen to the podcast for daily inspiration!

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TRANSCRIPT 

Joshua T Berglan 0:00
What’s up everybody? My name is Joshua, the world’s mayor. And this is my queen Jessica Lynn, how’re you doing?

jessica linn 0:07
I’m wonderful.

Joshua T Berglan 0:09
I’m happy. I’m happy to be here, too. It’s been a two week hiatus since we broadcast last. And, man we have. I’ve missed doing this a lot. But I’m grateful for that two week hiatus, because we got to do some really fun media projects for some Kingdom businesses, and what a time was stressful. But man, it was cool.

jessica linn 0:30
It was cool to see what we could do when we when we put both of our energies together.

Joshua T Berglan 0:35
Yeah, it was, it was special, we get to not to go into too much detail. But we got to work with several businesses that are going to have a huge impact in the new world. And when I say the New World, I mean, the fourth industrial revolution, like these companies, and these businesses are literally there for the Kingdom. And they’re doing extraordinary things like things I never thought I would ever see in the kingdom. Just so blessed to be excited about it. And it’s I don’t know, I mean, it’s what we love, we love media, we love using our resources to help people. And so if you’re out there, and you have any interest at all, and understanding and learning media, please reach out to us, we have a free training on our website, live mono worldwide.org, that’s li ve m a n a worldwide.org, they have a free training is on a tap there. And if Look, before you just kind of dismiss it as like, Oh, whatever. It’s just a training that first of all, there’s no charge for it. It’s super intensive. And the President of United States just a few days ago, pretty much told the world that if you don’t know these skills, you’re going to be left behind those skills he was talking about are what’s in our training, and it’s free. So this is for you. It’s for available. And those of you who have complained like well, I don’t have I don’t have the money to take that course I don’t have the time I don’t have this or that. It’s sitting on the website, no charge. And it’s there for you to take when you have time. It’s super important. It’s everything that we collectively have really just worked our butts off on for the last several years. And we’ve been able to put it all into one training for you. It’s super important that you do it, regardless of what industry you’re at. Because I was talking to a buddy yesterday who runs an orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico, an amazing guy has great orphanage that is just helping rehabilitate kids, in ways that I didn’t even know was possible. But we were talking yesterday, and he’s taking our media training. And he the light bulb went off for him. And he said, it doesn’t matter what you do. It’s all interchangeable. It doesn’t matter. If you want to be an artist, if you want to be a hip hop, artist, if you want to paint, if you want to have a talk show, if you have a ministry, or if you’re an attorney, he goes it’s all the same stuff. It’s just interchangeable. That’s what our that’s what our training teaches and not to harp too much on it. But it’s important. So please do that today. With that said, today’s a very special broadcast. Miracle, who we have tried to interview several different times but have had technology issues. But I kind of think that maybe God did that on purpose, because the timing for this broadcast is incredibly important. Look, first of all miracle is an author. She’s a songwriter, she’s a singer, she’s an actress, she’s, she’s very, very accomplished, she’s owns multiple businesses. But she has a real heart for God that comes across just like any just in a regular kitchen. It’s a special special thing to have a conversation with her. But one of the things that I’m excited to talk about is she has a she created a podcast. And it seems to be like a movement for her and it’s called God sets love. She’s the Creator, and she’s the host of it. And she talks on subjects that, frankly, I think the church has such shied away from and it’s to the detriment of believers. Sex is this really, really taboo subject when it comes to believers and, and frankly, I believe because we don’t have these honest conversations around sex. We have this this I don’t what would you call it a stigma? And

jessica linn 4:30
yeah, it’s definitely I would say a stigma. I feel like it’s kind of been a don’t talk about this. In regards to everything sex, but when you look at it, love and sex are two of the most powerful things under God to between two people. So it shouldn’t be talked about otherwise, how are you supposed to know what you’re doing right wrong?

Joshua T Berglan 4:55
Well, yeah, and what does God say about sex and I know what the Bible says about sex and but more importantly, what happens if you aren’t a believer. And then you have these habits as a non believer, and then you become believer. And then it’s like, Wait a second. So am I supposed to now, like, but I like all that stuff over here. That was fun. And here’s what I’ve seen in the news over the last month alone, Pastor after pastor stepping down because of some type of sexual related incident. And to me what that screams is, we’re afraid to talk about sex. And I know that churches have sex sermons. But when we when we talk about sex and MacGo penis, we’re not having an adult conversation or when we say vagina, like we’re not having an adult conversation, especially in the church, because we have real sexual issues in the church, outside of the church, in the home, in the streets, everywhere. We have an unhealthy relationship with sex, and there’s no one on this planet that is willing to admit that as much as I am. I have a very unhealthy relationship with sex, and I’m working on it. So getting to talk to people like miracle called the miraculous because it’s so much fun to say. A miracle. It’s she is to me is trendsetting and having these healthy, open conversations about sex and sexuality as a single Christian, but also as a married believer. So without further ado, we’ll please welcome the one the only miracle stems There you go. What’s up? Hello, hello, hello, friends. Yeah, miracle. For the very first time I get to hear you actually say it. Before today, and why?

Miracle Sims 7:01
You know what? Well, I think today, I’m just grateful that you know, the Lord is on aside with this technology, and that we’re actually having this conversation, because I don’t think that people will ever understand what we went through to get here. So thank God for this whole today. Yes.

Joshua T Berglan 7:17
Realistically, how many different times when we tried to do this? Is it been four or five?

Miracle Sims 7:22
Um, well, if you count all the times, in the scheduled time. So someone was trying to block this conversation, but you know, again, it’s gotta be the glory. We’re here. We gotta have it. And I mean, all you already have expressed so many different reasons why we need this conversation stop me I really don’t have much to eat. Say I thought about testimony. Because you’ve already hit a bunch of main points there.

Joshua T Berglan 7:50
Well, but this is an important subject. Because this is a point of contention in struggle for relationships. I mean, like, I don’t even know how to like, not overtake this is a conversation that I could talk about 10 hours by myself, because it’s been the greatest impact. It’s so interesting to me that sex is this like, one small little part of a relationship. But yet, it’s the very thing that can destroy a relationship, it can damage it, because it’s the source of lies. It’s a source of manipulation, drama. Like there’s all of these different things that are factored into sex, that it’s just so complicated. And then, like with my own history with I wouldn’t even want to label label a bisexual because I didn’t really stop it men. Or, you know, or even women for that matter. Like I was a genuine sex addict, chem sex addict. And I’ve spent a lifetime trying to understand what’s real for me. And even and then now six years walking with the Lord. My sexuality really hasn’t changed the perversion, the the inability to control my urges, and those things have gone away. Art it’s not perfect by any means. But like it was, well, but the thing is, is like now for me in for us. I, for my entire life only had weird kinky sex. I don’t know how to have normal sex. I don’t know how to treat things like oh, it’s a man and a woman and we’re gonna meet up today like, I don’t have that in me. 100% It’s, it’s growing. But it’s not all there. So I’m saying all of this to say, I know we’re not the only Christian couple Jesus loving couple that has sexual things that are different and they don’t really fit into the box of what the Church we’ll talk about. So from your experience, what what led you to want to go down this path where you are going to be the godly woman that talks about sex?

Miracle Sims 10:12
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, first, let me say thank you for sharing, you know what you’ve shared, I’m sure, again, you can go miles with that. Because I mean, like you said, you know, you I’m sure you’re not the only one right. And so with experience, and so, you know, your testimony can be powerful and whatnot, as well. And so, I think that’s pretty much where it started from, for me, I mean, I pretty much just had to share my testimony at this point, because, you know, basically, I was a single Christian woman, and I was very boring. So in my 20s, which is, this period of time I called the cultivation period, which I actually wrote about in this book here. Um, you know, it was kind of like, formative years, outside of like, things that I had been introduced to at a younger age. So it’s a lot to the story. But long story short, if I can try to make the long story short, is that basically, in my 20s, you know, again, I’m single Christian, horny, and asking the Lord, where is my husband? You know, like, I know what I’ve been told, I know what I’m supposed to be doing. But I know how I feel all those different things. And and I’m like, if you want me to do this thing, right? And where is the man that you know, and all these things, right? And asking God all these questions, and eventually, I had to look at myself in the mirror and ask myself some things. And one of those things was like, why are you this way? Why are you so boring? Why are you so frisky are always like, ready to go. And all these different things. And so because again, you know, I held on to my virginity until, like, my 20s. So, you know, obviously, again, I’m sure the way I was raised had a lot to do with that, and my mom’s and evangelists, you know, against all raised up in the church and knew right from wrong, right, quote, unquote. However, again, long story short, when I thought about at that period of time, when I thought about, like, what made me the way I was, basically, I had to look back at my past, I had to look at that, like, how was I introduced to these sexual things. And unfortunately, my story begins with a babysitter pretty much introducing sexual things to me at a young age had been at least three or four, where she was encouraged me to kiss and fondo and things like that. And it led up to just thoughts the rest of my life and led up to me masturbating from then on up just to go to sleep, sometimes, there’s so many different things that have led to, which also ultimately led me up to me being single in my 20s, and fooling around, but not in a relationship and all that type of stuff. So, by the time God showed me all of that, it was like, so I’m gonna need to change some things if you want the things you want. And basically, I was like, okay, um, you know, so I took that, that challenge and, you know, worked on changing different things. And one of those things was trying to find content at the time, I was looking, you know, trying to see if there was anyone else that was out there like me, like you just said, like, is there anybody else because you feel alone, and whatnot. And so when I didn’t necessarily see what I was looking for, I would say that was like, the beginning stages of me feeling led to then share my journey today and show other people like, hey, you know, I’m here, I go through the same stuff. If you’re out there, you know, especially the wide web, you know, the web and whatnot. It’s just getting on YouTube, and just sharing my thoughts as a Christian woman and what I was learning at that time. And so that was, that is what I would say, is the beginning stages of what Everyone now knows as God, sex and love. So, I mean, I suppose because it’d be, you know, no, I just say

Joshua T Berglan 13:40
what you learn, like, what did you learn on your journey? I mean, now you have a husband, but in your single journey and your sexuality, like what did you learn? And really, what was the you mentioned? fooling around? Like? What were your takeaways? Like what how did it change your relationship with God? Did it make you closer when you were you? Were you talking to God before you went and made out with the people or like, just walk us through that part of it? Were you that shaped you into a leader in Christian sexuality?

Miracle Sims 14:16
All those are great questions. Um, so basically, for me, basically, what ended up being was after looking at myself in the mirror, because Okay, I’ll tell you guys, one of the first things that led me to start looking at things differently. Basically, I was going to church and one Sunday the pastor goes, if you make God’s once you’re once you’re going to get what you want. And again, I was in the midst of praying to God and like, where’s my husband? And wait, no, bla, bla, bla, you know, this is what I want. And, you know, I feel like I got everything else but this. And so, um, and so when I heard that message that Sunday, I just was like, I get you and I guess I’m crazy to be like, okay, so you’re trying to Okay, and let’s see, you know, and so that’s kind of like one of the thing but another thing I was saying is and then I got I wrote about it in the book is that I met this guy at church and as this whole thing, getting, I won’t get too deep into it, but I met this guy. And I thought, like, I had several guys that I thought could have been the one. And so he was one of them. And at the time, I didn’t know that them but I met him. And he was nice, whatever we taught him. He was like, one of the first guys I had, like, Faith conversations with. So I’m thinking like, okay, everything is lining up. Now everything’s lining up, right. And so, um, but see, I was so used to dealing with guys in a certain way, like, okay, like, we get to know each other, and then we start fooling around. And then we like, oh, no, not six, but everything else still, you know, and all that. But by the time we got to the place where it was going to where I was so used to being like, Okay, so here’s where we fall around it, he didn’t want that for me. And I was confused by that, because I was like, each other, I thought it was cool. But, um, so that was one of the eye opening moments for me as well, because I was like, in my mind, if I if I thought this guy could be the one right. And I thought that perhaps, you know, I want this type of man that, you know, I can talk to you about God, and that we can have these relationships and all this type of stuff and conversations. But I’m pushing this type of man away by my actions, right? I’m not doing what I say I want right now, if I’m going to be fooling around when I want marriage, so those two things don’t go together when you really think about it. And so, um, so yeah, though, different things like that happened to where I again was like, you know, what, I have to do some things differently. So eventually, I thought, you know, kind of challenges y’all. So I was I stopped masturbating around that time, I stopped fooling around. I was like, Okay, I’ve cut off Friends with Benefits had half conversations with like, okay, so I know we had this little thing going on, but you know, we’re not together x y&z So let’s just be friends. Like all those different things I was doing at that time to grow closer to God, I was also challenging myself to read the Bible, that entire thing at that time. So again, I was there’s a lot of stuff going on during the cultivation period. But yeah, I challenged myself to do those things. And I feel like ultimately, now, you did mention that, you know, yes, I am married now and everything like that. And I feel like the blessings I have now is because God honored the faithfulness deed. Did it happen quick like that? No. Like, I mean, obviously, there was years between my 20s and now being, you know, got married when I was 30. You know, like, you know, and I’m 36. Now, I just turned 37. So 36. Now, you know, I’m saying, and so, obviously, there was time in between, and a lot of things that happened, but I think the willingness to trust God with it, the willingness to say, Okay, I see that you want me to change things, I see that I need to change some things, and being willing to do that stuff. And that particular time helped me be where I am. So I hope to answer the question, because, again, there’s just so many

jessica linn 18:06
what you said, when you stopped doing all of the things you weren’t supposed to be doing. I’m curious about masturbating? Why is it important to stop masturbating?

Miracle Sims 18:18
So I felt like it was important for me to stop masturbating to to learn so control to to understand that I could, because again, that was something that I was doing to go to sleep, sometimes, you know what I mean? And so, I mean, yeah, it probably one of one of the things that helped me stay a virgin, so long, right. But at same time, too, it wasn’t. You know, I guess I realize how unhealthy it was for me again, at that time, because, for example, like there was this one time in particular, that I was so frustrated that I ended up like crying about it, and all this different type of stuff. And I’m sure there was a lot of things that was frustrating me beyond the not just gratify myself at that time. But still, the fact that it took that much of a toll and had that much of an effect on me, show me that, okay, yeah, this might not be something that’s, you know, helping you in this walk, or whatever the case is now, you know, I don’t know if I would say things are different. Now. I don’t know, I just will say that. I believe that honoring that at that time, it was something that was brought to my attention, like, Hey, you might need to take some control over this area, and whatnot. I mean, I don’t think it’s something that the Bible is like, Hey, don’t map it out. It doesn’t specifically say that, but I think it I think it kind of boils down to like, your mindset, I think kind of boils down to like, like they say what you’re thinking about when when you’re doing it and just all those different things. I think for me at that time, it was one of those important things to show me that, hey, you can have self control in this area. You don’t have to do this, you know, and things like that. So

Joshua T Berglan 19:50
thank you. Yeah, yeah, it’s a it’s an interesting thing I have I go back and forth with this. You know, I’ve been working so hard To try to heal my relationship with sex, so at least that I know what is right for me. Because it’s impossible to really know what’s right for us if we’re not healed, because, well, it’s, I don’t know if this is the right analogy or not to use it this, but it’s the first one that came to mind. You know, the very first thing when you just say that you eat whatever, you’re one of those people that eat it, whatever, like I do. But then you go, Alright, so I’m gonna go vegan, or I’m gonna go on a fast or you start eating clean. And you notice how much better you feel. And but, but you don’t. If you go back to that old way of eating, you kind of feel like crap for a little bit. But then you get used to it, and then you get used to feeling like crap. So how I’m using that with a masturbation analogy, bear with me. But I tried it with my own self and trying to heal and go, Okay, well, what’s normal for me? What’s, what am I really? Okay, with? That’s who I am? Well, how do I, because if you recognize that you are something or you’re someone or you have a certain set of needs, then it’s like, okay, well, how do I get those needs and still honor God? Or how do I satisfy that whatever that is, in other words, it could be my attraction to men or the kinky sex desires that I have. Because regular sex just doesn’t always seem like something I want to do. Because I’m used to the more extreme stuff. So I’m saying all of that to say that one of the areas that when I tried to really, really work on myself, it was go without masturbation, we couldn’t get your mind and your thoughts can trigger a whole buffet bay of nursing. And so I’ve had to do the same thing a few different times. And so I’m at this place of going, kinda like what you said, I don’t know if it’s necessarily wrong, but what am I looking at? Or what am I thinking about when I’m doing it? That’s where the discussion of is this long enough. And another thing that I want to talk about is what you talked about was really obedience. Because yeah, I don’t get in the Bible. I don’t see it at all in the Bible, per se. I can see some indirect things that could go back to masturbation, but nothing like And God said, do not whack your nevermind, I’m not I just jerking off masturbation rubbing one out. All right, yeah. Ministry, we were on a sphere. And we were a little bit crude sometimes. But when I don’t, I’m not one of those people that get caught up in the literal words of the Bible, I get caught up in what the Holy Spirit shows me in the Bible, and speaks to me with a match when I take his marching orders. Because I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m not being obedient to this government. I don’t care what Paul said, Jesus didn’t say, I’m not going to be obedient to this government, I’m not going to force things into my body that I don’t want in my body. So there’s a lot of other things I could use. So like, I disagree with the Bible there. I have a lot of other disagreements with the Bible. However, that Bible, there is nothing that will make the Holy Spirit come alive and start talking to you more than that book. So for me, it’s the exercise of obedience that matters above else. And so when God’s going, Hey, you should stop doing that. Or stop looking at that. And you know what, I’m gonna listen. And so I like how you address that because that to me, shows that you’re more on the relationship side with Jesus than you are the hierarchy rulebook. Does that, does that align with you? Did I say that right? Yes, I

Miracle Sims 24:07
mean, I get what you’re saying. Yeah. In Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head about obedience and everything like that. Like, where does the obedience is better to sacrifice and all the different things that it says But um, you know, yeah, like, now it’s funny, I don’t you brought up the whole thing about like, there’s things you might not like and whatnot. Reminds me of in my daily inspiration segment, I call that the Pope, right? Because I don’t like coping juices, and my sickness caused the juices. So when I’m saying things that we might not like, I’ll be like, Oh, that might be poke, right. But yeah, yeah. You know, yeah, there might be some things we don’t fully understand or like, whatever the case is, but you know, but like you said, I mean, that needs to Trump whatever your your personal feeling or belief is they know if you’re going to follow Christ, right if you want to, you know, lay down on your cross, okay, or carried across whatever the case is. And so, I guess for me yeah, at that time. It was, alright miracle you need to see. And I think you know what, even now as I speak to you, we, again, you guys know, we’re 2020 now and so there’s this narrative out here that you can’t control yourself. You can’t control your mind. You can’t control like, oh, I have no control over this or that. And I’m like, I guess I’m not trying to say I’m the only one but I think my testimony is a lot of me saying, you know, yeah, I can’t do X y&z So at that time, it was like, Yeah, you can take a break on this masturbation thing. You know what I mean? And now I see the self control that I can sit here and tell people, yeah, you can have self control in that area. I haven’t tried it, you know, things like that. Um, you know, I feel like I’ve changed my life in regards to I was someone that was procrastinating when it came to, like, Bible study for myself and stuff like that. And now I literally get up every morning, and therefore with the intention to not only study but then share in the mornings, you know, and, and so there’s just so many different things like that, that has happened in my life where, you know, I took this thing where it’s like, I need to challenge myself, or I need to do this thing, and then you do it, you know, um, and I’m not gonna say it was easy, because again, I told y’all, that sounds crazy that somebody was boohoo, and because they couldn’t touch this. What happened, you know what I mean, it’s my testimony, it was a real moment. But at the same time, it just was like, you know, I look at the, and instead of doing that, that day, I think I clean some chore, you know, do some chores, clean up my space that I had, I did this little art project that I had been on my heart mind for a while I had these boots that I wanted to kind of draw on and stuff. And so I call those my inspiration boots, and I had like, different quotes on different little drawings and stuff. I ended up finishing those that day. And, you know, all these different other things that I’ve focused on, rather than that thing that I thought I needed to do in that moment, you know, and so, yeah, I am here to say that, yeah, you know, whatever it is, you can take control, you know, you can have self control. You can change your mind, you can, you know, do things differently. It’s just do you want to like, I don’t think that’s one of my pet peeves to say that you can’t do something. It’s not that you can’t just say you don’t want to. That’s the only that’s the truth. Really, you know, so anyway, had gone. No, but yeah,

jessica linn 27:15
I think it’s so interesting how, like, you’ve noticed, when when you start putting all of your focus and energy into that one thing that seems to be consuming your mind, that often you have so much time and energy to get all this other stuff done? That’s pretty telling.

Joshua T Berglan 27:37
Yeah. What is your, your that’s your source energy, that your creative energy? It’s, I mean, when you store it up, I mean, there is like, when you get it, there’s some very deep, deep, powerful spiritual conversations about sex and sexuality, like there is it the spiritual nature of sex is far more deep and broad. And it’s bigger than really even what the Bible made sex out to be. And yet me, yes, it talked about the dangers of it, and also talked about the beauty of it. But it’s deeper than what the Bible talks about. I mean, because when you get into soul ties, and the energetic exchange, the there’s so many factors that are bigger than just being one, you know, being with one person for the rest of your life, I mean, that all that makes sense, I get it, especially when you understand soul ties, and you understand that those that exchange, and how it all works. But there it but then also, just with our own power, and what we’re able to do, I’m of the belief, too, that when we have that energy stored up, like that’s when we get to be able to do miracles and things like that, like, I mean, I believe that those those all tie in together, and I don’t fully understand all of it. But there’s just more to it than what we’ve been told, and why that why it can be dangerous, but why it’s also a gift. And one of the mistakes that I wish that I could take, one of the things about my sexual past that I wish that I could change is just giving my energy, literally, to people that didn’t need it, or even taking people’s energy that I didn’t need to be taking. And when I started to see it from the spiritual side of things, of course, there’s some deep dark wormholes that go down with that, but which can get a little scary, for that matter. But there is but when I started to wrap my head around the soul ties part of it and, and I started to think about someone’s DNA being attached to me I, it changed my attitude about sex. Because before that, I was like, I’m gonna put my penis and whatever, we’ll take it. I mean, that’s this mine was a chem sex addict. So if there was a couch, I mean, like, whatever I need to, it was a different I came from a darker, darker place with all of this, but in that understanding, to break me away from just like wanting to sleep with whoever, sometimes pretty powerful aspect of that. And of course, in the deliverances, I’ve gone through the biggest emphasis of the of the deliverances we’re removing soul ties.

Miracle Sims 30:41
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Um, you know, I’m kind of reminded that talking to you all today that you know, that versus says, you know, basically, our sinning against our own bodies when it comes to this, you know, thing. And like you said, again, that’s one of my main messages as I talk to people is that YED, there is more to six than is being shared. The funny thing is, we had one of the first panel discussions that we had on GSL, when I kicked it off, was about soul ties. And we had like one person that was like, Oh, I don’t believe but everybody else’s like, oh, yeah, we’ve experienced it. And yeah, I mean, again, it’s just one of those things. I think another thing that I’ve learned on this journey of doing GSL, and launching it and everything like that. I feel like God has shown me that, like, there’s all these different things or everything really, when you think about like, what the world tells us about sex and everything. It’s like, everything is the complete opposite of whatever the Bible says, If the Bible says this, then the world is telling us the complete opposite. So yeah, the world’s like, oh, I have all the six. There’s nothing wrong with it, that I do that. And then the Bible is like literally like, Hey, have sex like this. Don’t do this that don’t do that. Either. XY and Z. And, and again, sometimes we unfortunately, we don’t see, like you say, until we actually either go through it or we’re on the other side, then we’ll understand why. It says what it says But in the midst of it, or whatever, when we’re facing it, depending on where you are spiritually. Yeah, it could be one of those things where it’s like, oh, well, you know, the world’s doing it. Why am I the one over here not doing it? Like I literally ask those questions. Like, why do you got me over here care? Like nobody else? My age cares, like, you know, but But you know, so you know, things that before?

jessica linn 32:28
Sorry, to kind of go starlet things like that all the time. Our youngest daughter, she’s like, my mind. Oh, I have to be nice to the neighbor. When she’s a jerk to me. She’s. But it’s very, I mean, it’s hard.

Miracle Sims 32:43
It is it is. But it’s funny that you said that because this morning when I was talking on the juice, I was telling people basically like, but you know, let God take care of the vengeance, He tells us to turn the other cheek and to let him have all that you know what I mean? And so it’s hard to do, right? We might not want to do it, it might be pulled, right? And men are like, it’s but again, there could be this piece that comes with it, where it’s like, Okay, I’m going to just let God handle the vengeance or handle the get back part. And I’m just going to, you know, bless you and not curse you, and all those different things that it tells us to do when, you know, again, it’s my it’s not the easiest thing, but you know, you can find peace in it though. But by doing it,

Joshua T Berglan 33:22
we’re gonna find peace and obedience. It’s the only place to find peace, I believe. Because I don’t believe for a second that we live in a one size fits all. I mean, the principles work for everyone. But the way God applies the principles to our life or wants us to apply the principles He’s given us will look different forever. And I but I but I love that but that it takes a relationship to even get to that place where you know, you’re getting get getting confirmations on truth, or is this what you want me to do God? Like, are you sure about this? And trial? Because I promise you the the Holy Spirit’s has sent me down. Well, first of all, wouldn’t be in Minnesota right now. Done 98% of the things that I ended up with now I can say as I did for the Lord. It’s a wild stuff that the Holy Spirit sent me down that I know that he wouldn’t have someone else do, he would have a different type of challenge for them, but that were given are not the enemy. It’s God saying, Okay, show me show me you want this show me that you’re my servant, show me that you are all in. And so you get these tasks that are like custom fit to challenge us, though. Your giant is different than my giant, her giant different than mine and so forth. But that’s what you get from the relationship. The problem is, I think, is that we put so much emphasis and I’m not bashing the church, and I’m not bashing the Bible here. But what put so much emphasis on those things, the external instead of focusing on the eternal, and that’s where the relationship comes from. And that’s where you know, obedience. Your marching instructions come from God telling you inside, not a TD, although you can get a word from the TV, you can get a word and during an interview like this, that’s discounted. But I don’t believe that we pay enough attention to the relationship side of things. And trusting that these instructions are coming from God, this is what I’m being obedient to not what that says is best for me. Yeah. No, no, but the guy on stage can be great. And he can give you instructions, but in the end, between you and God, and so that’s and I think that also God gives us the grace. I think we talked about this before. But God gives us the grace to walk out what we believe is true, only to prove that we like proving to ourselves that Oops, my bad God, I was wrong about that. And we get gives us that grace to figure it out. And for him to go, Okay, you ready to listen to me now? Right, okay. Yeah. All right, good. But you get that from the relationship, too. And that’s a beautiful thing. And the reason I’m talking about all of this, is that, I believe with everything in me, the reason why we don’t have honest conversations about sex in the church, is because of all the external stuff of I gotta fit in this box, I gotta be the perfection, I gotta fit this. And this is the way that the church leadership, this is what they want. So if I don’t fit in that box, then I’m not gonna be welcomed. So I gotta change. And then the fear of these pastors, to be honest, like the latest pastor who stepped down because he was sending text, DMS to somebody on Instagram, one of the easiest things, the easiest mistakes to do somebody, the very first picture, they send us a picture of something that just happens to stimulate you, and you’re going Damn, or, like, wow, or, and then your next thing you know, you’re engaged in this conversation that you didn’t even know that if you didn’t go into an attending to do it will be a perv. Or to send inappropriate messages. But the problem is, because we are so scared to just say, Man, I got hit up with a DM and this is like, you know, I just I, I blocked myself for a second because I’ll go on boobs. And because you become a human being, you’re not the pastor of a church, when you’re staring at boobs you like, let’s just be real. Like, if you’re a dude who likes boobs, I don’t care if you’re the Pope, if you’re a monk, or whoever, if you like boobs, and they’re in your face, you’re it’s gonna be a battle for you. And guess what, guys, women to make mistakes, and they slip but because of the fear of what the external is going to say and do because now I don’t fit into their perfect box. Fear being canceled, these pastors are not willing to be honest.

Joshua T Berglan 38:25
And that is why we’re having these problems is because we’re just not having honest conversations when anyone who is thinking clearly would know that we’re all human, and temptation. Landmines all over us, especially now. Because social media Instagram is like the Sears catalog of the 1980s, for whom it’s just there. And we’ve did, that sexual images have become so mainstream in every aspect, that you can’t avoid it. Even getting off social media, it’s still there, everywhere you go. So just need to have honest conversations about all this, and then work together to find solutions. Because if lost, is truly a problem. And it’s truly a cancer that can destroy relationships, so that can destroy marriages in church. We got to have these healthy conversations, and we have to be willing to admit that yeah, checked up those boobs a little bit too long. And yeah, I lost my brain. I’m just like, hey, you got nice boobs. So anyway, I’m saying all that. Just to say that I appreciate people like you who are willing to have these conversations and it doesn’t mean what you’re saying is right for everyone else is in there willing to talk about it, and how it worked for you. That’s, and that’s important, and I believe what that does is it creates a bridge for people People that come to you be able to have their own healthy conversation about status where they don’t probably feel sick about it in church.

Miracle Sims 40:08
Yes, sir. Yes. Well, thank you. No, thank you for for seeing that, you know, because again, I’ve got, I haven’t had too much negativity, but you know, you get every now and then or you don’t get any feedback. And so it’s nice to get get the validation and whatnot, that people understand the concepts and everything like that. I think what you just said is very true across the board, a lot of the things that you shared there, I mean, you know, I guess the unfortunate thing is, you know, people in leadership positions, I mean, it tells you in the Bible about all that you’re, you know, you’re gonna be held to another standard, and everything. And so, you know, but again, we all are human. And I think that’s one of the main things I always share, when I’m doing the juice when I’m having conversations with people is at the end of the day, it’s like, you know, hey, well, God gave us all free will to choose unbelievable want to believe, you know, I’m human, too. I have my ups, downs, all this different type of stuff as well, you know, I see I still got pulled for things that I might not like or understand about, you know, what the Bible is saying? Or even what sometimes what God is telling me to do XY and Z, you know, I’ve been sharing a lot lately, where I feel like God has told me to do something and then I don’t do it. And then I’ll see the results of me not doing it. And then I’m sharing on the podcast the next day, like, yeah, so there was this thing. I was got loads for me to do. I didn’t do it. Here we go, you know. But yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s just one of those things. I guess, maybe it’s just another thing with the human experience that you know, when you you see people and you want to lift them up and, and everything like that, but I think that’s why it’s important for believers to always point back to Jesus always point back to just like all the angels today, like, none of them was ever like, oh, yeah, me, me. Me. They was always like, Nah, not me. Him. So, um, yeah, you know, you’ll know them by their fruit at the end of the day. Yeah, there are like, weird people or netstar. To say that way, but or people that are wolves in sheep’s clothing and all of that as well. So we can’t say that there’s not. But you know, there are people that just oh, you know what I mean, they might not get it every time. But But yeah, there is power with being honest about that. I would say so.

Joshua T Berglan 42:16
Yeah. God doesn’t bless lies. He can work with truth, though. Right? Miracle. Thank you, for your time. Thank you for just being an open book. And thank you for doing what you do. Please let everyone know, where they can support you where they can buy your books, why they can watch your podcasts, just plug everything you want to plug.

Miracle Sims 42:37
Awesome, awesome. Well, I’m so sure to see that. Yeah, if you guys want to hear anything about God, sex and love. I mean, we have God sex and love.com we have the daily inspiration segment that I tried to have out by 6am on Monday through Saturday, on Friday nights at seven is when the talk show, you know, usually I’m having conversations like this or you know, panel discussions and all types of things that they told me on YouTube, I got an overnight how to some videos now who knows that that is a blessing. Because I remember back in the day, that part of my testimony is I used to get discouraged. And so I fall in this place where it’s like, no matter what I’m gonna keep going and so look what God has done. But anywho I want to know more about me and Gen X miracle stamps.com. All of my endeavors have their books on Amazon and other places. And so, yeah, that’s that’s pretty much all about me.

Joshua T Berglan 43:31
Thank you miracle. God bless you and look forward to talking to you again. Thank you. I like not having a mouse being able to touch the screen. It’s really cool. Well, I you know what, I’m glad that that finally worked out that conversation and

jessica linn 43:55
I haven’t read the book. You should buy it about I need to I

Joshua T Berglan 43:59
should listen to her podcast to God, sex flow. Yeah, I told you guys, she’s awesome. Just a very lovable human. And we don’t necessarily agree on everything. But that doesn’t matter. Like no, I don’t know any believers that agree on everything. But I her attitude and like what she spoke about with obedience, and listening to God and honor His instruction and how it worked out or fruit. Like, she didn’t spend a lot of time talking about her husband. But like, I mean, it’s part of her testimony and her reward. I mean, you you’re part of my testimony too. And how when I been obedient, and in doing the things that I didn’t want to do, but being obedient is what opened up. Like the how I ended up I still amaze I’m in Minnesota but like, like how will that happen? That happened because of obedience, like the family that we have happened because of obedience. and obedience is the key and I. And she’s right. I mean, like, look, some there are some people that believe every single word that’s in the Bible. I’m, I’m a different believer in that sense, because I believe that man, you know, manipulated the text. But that doesn’t keep me from loving the Bible and appreciating it. It doesn’t mean I don’t have questions, but here’s what I know about God. Ask the questions long enough, he’s going to answer you. And that’s part of the relationship and part of what builds our faith is when we ask questions. And we challenge it, we can even challenge what we’re reading, or we can challenge God and what we feel that we’re being told. And God will always confirm always. But here’s the thing that’s so important that I hope that you all took from the conversation today. Nothing good. happens without truth. And your truth may not end up being true later. It can change but at least have the intention of being truthful and honest and integrity. And let God God can work with that. So wherever you’re at wherever you’re struggling with, this is an all areas just be honest with God about where you’re at. He already knows he just wants you to hear it. And from there, I promise you will start guiding you instructing you just listen. And it’s worth it. And the crazier it sounds. Probably the more God it is.

jessica linn 46:31
Yeah, God knows your heart intention.

Joshua T Berglan 46:37
Actually, alright guys, thank you so much for watching. Actually, we’re gonna I’m going to do another segment after these messages. Thank you for being here. 

Part 2 

Joshua T Berglan 0:00
Hey, what’s up, everybody. So I, we just wrapped up with miracle. And I thought I should just jump back I wanted to, I did a broadcast yesterday. And this happens from time to time where I record and there’s no sound. In fact, we did a broadcast yesterday with the girls. And there was no sound. But I didn’t know that, because I jumped right into a solo presentation. And it I had no sound either. So it was like three hours of content, it just disappeared. But anyway, I just had a great conversation with a miracle, I call it the I call the miraculous, it’s a habit because her name is not actually miraculous. It just reads that way. And, anyway, goodness for editing, and reduce. But we talked about sex and sexuality and truth that was a big part of this. And, you know, those of you who have watched my broadcast in the past, you know, that I’m pretty open about my life and my struggles, and, you know, having di D, which is disassociative, identity disorder, you know, and it’s funny, I had these moments where I think God’s completely delivered me. And then, like, out of thin air, after several months of not switching, I disappear for a while. And that happened, actually recently. And, and I know why. And this is not a comfortable conversation, because it literally sounds insane. You know, di D, dissociative identity disorder, multiple personality disorder, and changing it to different alters that get it sounds insane. And try living. Try living like this, try being someone that loves me. And it’s with me every day, and what it’s like for them. So, you know, I just appear from time to time. And, like, who you think you’re seeing, you’re not. Some people notice some people though. And, you know, it’s, I’m learning a lot of healthy switches and triggers. And, you know, I’m so grateful to have Jessica and my wife because she helps me navigate this. And you know, and we’ve figured out a way to not only live together love each other, be best friends, be business partners be lovers be. She’s my queen, she’s all of these things. But we’ve figured out a unique way of living that works for us, that keeps us from dealing with switches and holders and all kinds of stuff. But it hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been fun. And so why I’m talking about God is because it also in how I’m talking about it on the the flip side of an interview about sex is because the two go hand in hand for me. You know, for the longest time, I thought each of my alders in this was true, had a different sexuality. And that’s how I knew. And that’s how I can tell people who was really present, the people that were close to me is like, this is how you would know who you’re talking to. And without going into all the backstories, and everything else, one of the things that I’ve noticed as God has healed me, and I’ve started to really become one, solid identity, but with these little mini switches, and that’s what, you know, I just recently dealt with is as medical whole, I’m starting to recognize who I am. And I don’t know if that’s who I’m going to be at the end of my healing, I don’t know. So, what I’m getting at is that I’ve always, you know, since my massive relapse, and God told me to put a spotlight on my shadow world, and I didn’t get the luxury of having secrets. One of the things that he asked me to do actually commanded me to do and in the act of obedience, and I’m going to honor this always is that when I struggle, I’m gonna talk about it. When I if I relapse or any of those other things, I’m going to talk about it if I have a moment of just like straight evil, or switch or, you know, any of that. I’m just gonna talk about it. And so this is where I’m at. So as I’ve started to heal, I started to notice that, you know, with as complicated as my sexuality has been, that I’ve become more comfortable with my attraction to men.

Joshua T Berglan 4:58
More comfortable, not less, not bad, one way more comfortable. Now, mind you, my taste has been more refined from my past four days. But it, it’s still there. And it’s very much present. And and so and that’s always interesting in a marriage too, because, you know, it’s like, wait a second, you’re married to a woman. Yeah, very to a very beautiful woman that I’m very attracted to and love having sex with. But there’s this part of me, that exists, that is ignored. That is shamed. It’s collected, it’s treated poorly. And, and, and, and it’s alienated. And that is the side of me that is attracted to men. And it’s not just an attraction as insects is a what’s more than that it’s a deeper soul connection, slash, companionship slash something. And so in what I’ve discovered in this journey is that it’s really more a desperate, desperate may not be the right word, but it feels appropriate right now need for companionship, that’s male. That is really not even that much to do with sex, but because of my chem, sex addiction, all those years and the what I opened myself up to sexually, no pun intended. The different things that I did, I kind of run to this healthy outlook of sex, and, you know, those this, a man and woman get together and they make love and everything’s pretty. I don’t understand that at all, never have actually want to, I want to understand it. And the Making love side of me is getting better, because, well, I’m learning to love more. But I’m not all the way there yet. But for the longest time on this journey, that I thought it was a physical expression of sex that I needed to let out. And that was meant, like, that part felt empty, that part felt neglected that heartfelt like, Will, you’re not loving me. And I know what the Bible says. And I can show you things to argue that and, you know, show you why your translations messed up, and not really what the Bible was saying. But you know what I was saying the Greek text and the Hebrew and everything else, I could argue that but I don’t want to do that. Right now, I just want to be honest with where I’m at and let things be where they are. The Bible says what it says every dinar version of the Bible says something. And it has a statement that people are following. Depending on which version you read, depending on probably what you’re doing. That said, the Bible is there. And I love the Bible. And it’s the greatest instruction manual of all time. It’s the greatest way to communicate with the Holy Spirit, and I’ve ever experienced other than just prayer itself, and praise and worship. But I’m not going to say you’re an Acolyte. My sexuality is changed in me, because if anything, it’s become more pronounced that I’m attracted to men to very much into my wife, my wife is the most perfect person in the world for me, and I hope that I’m the most perfect person for her. But solving this issue has been a huge thing for me. It’s so stupid to and as I mentioned in the interview with miraculous, it’s just once more like it’s It’s this small. It’s this small. It’s it. That’s how big sexes are like sex is that much part of my life yet it’s become as big as my head. Because biggest this head here. It’s crazy. It’s been my Achilles heel, you think about the Achilles tendon, tendon, right? That Achilles runs people’s careers in sports. And this is my Achilles heel. Paul’s thorn in his side, maybe. But I’ve been desperately trying to solve it. And I put so much energy into trying to figure it out. But sometimes I neglect other parts of my life. And I don’t believe that that’s what God wants. And so I’ve wrestled with this and I’ve tried to come with peace to peace about it, and then I accept myself. Okay, well, you know what, God does me exactly the way I am. So I’m gonna let myself be attracted to men. Well, then,

Joshua T Berglan 9:58
what I didn’t do really realize is that I was setting myself up to trigger myself to make me want more. And then when I wanted more now what I do I mean, I have to scratch this itch now, it’s not going away, it’s getting louder. So try masturbating. Masturbating made it worse, started looking at porn, thinking that was gonna help. Yeah, I love Jesus and I looked at porn. I not proud of it. I was trying to scratch that itch trying to make it go away. But it made it worse, made it worse and made it worse and worse and made it worse than it became it became a disruption in my life, not just my relationship and my life. So

Joshua T Berglan 11:00
this is a real struggle for me. Because I want to honor God and everything I do. This other part of me has been so misunderstood for so long and so neglected. And when I try not to neglect it and pay attention to it, I don’t really know how to handle it when it’s like when it feels loved when it feels love that it wants to come out and play and express itself. Why do you express yourself? You do what’s right, or whatever? Well, this is what I thought, This is what I needed. And yeah, sex is fun. But I had a friend that I interviewed that struggled with the same thing. Said, it’s really just companionship that you need, like, well, crap, I don’t have any friends that I hang out with. And how am I going to do this? So this last few weeks since I’ve last broadcast, I mean, we’ve been so busy with this media project, and it’s so awesome, and so fun and can’t wait to do the next round of them. But it’s also been a real battle for me, personally, because I am wanting to honor God wanting to honor my wife, and yet still love myself. And not shame myself. And it’s been a struggle. But I’m not gonna sit here and pretend. And I know I’ve talked about this before. So it’s like, why talking about it? Again. It’s kind of seeing all of these preachers get in trouble. All of these preachers, inappropriate messages on Instagram, and inappropriate relationships with a staff member. Hiring male escorts like these preachers that are getting in trouble or people are humans. And I’m not a preacher, but I do I am an evangelist, I guess it was with a name I’ve been given. Because I talked about my love for Jesus and God and how Jesus changed my life. I’m just also very honest about where I’m at. Like, something’s not right. Something’s not right. And whether it’s the Bible, whether it’s the church, but our whole attitudes and relationships with sex suck, and it’s universal, the church, the Bible is not. I mean, look, you can get mad at me if you want, but it’s not exactly. Crystal clear. And again, if you look up the real meanings of certain words, are what they’re referring to. A lot of the things that are taught to us are not really what it means. That’s the thing about interpretation is that you can do that you can translate things how you want. But I do know one thing that’s clear is that God doesn’t bless lies. And the truth is what God will bless and even if your truth and our truth is not God’s truth, he gives us the grace to let us walk it out until he’s ready to correct us. And I’ve spent a lifetime listening to other men and our man, man, the church and the Bible, talk about sexuality, and what the Bible says. But I gotta tell you something. It’s really easy to say that Well, it turned into something that was, again, I hate the word bisexual, but this is used for fun. Like, oh well being molested by men and women. created I honestly don’t believe that’s true. It could be a generational curse. Pretty confident that my dad was speaking he just based on what I experienced my whole life. Um, so there’s no telling what he was really into. I don’t know. But I know one thing. Like, I can’t sit here and pretend that I’m something I’m not not going to sit here and pretend that I’m, you know, only have eyes for my wife. It’s not true. I mean, she owns my heart, her God the girls. But I don’t have a healthy relationship

Joshua T Berglan 15:58
with sex. Like, sex for me is couple threesomes hot wifing. Like, I mean, these are the things that go through my head, I’m not saying the right. I’m not going to aggravate it by tempting myself and like, you know, putting the images and things like that in my face, which is a big mistake, because they’re nothing lies to you more than porn. Porn is the greatest lie in deception of them all. And there’s a lot of assumptions. But I’m not at a place where I even want to have sex, unless if it’s something kinky or weird. And I know that that’s fine with a wife. But or, you know, as far as the church is concerned, but

Joshua T Berglan 17:02
like, it’s just feels not normal. And it’s like mental gymnastics. So the word of God is to reassure to renew our minds, the word of God. And I believe the Word of God actually, can come just as much from inside as it can outside the Bible, like God speaks to us to He gives us His Word, when He speaks to us God’s word. And so I spent a lifetime listening to other people for advice. And this is the right way to do it this the wrong way. And it’s always led me to more frustration. But I can’t I don’t live that way. And I can’t live that way as part of why I got off social media that and to remove any, you know, external stimulation that doesn’t need to be there, or any external triggers that don’t need to be there. I’m eliminating everything possible because I really do want to have a healthy relationship with sex. So that I don’t have to go through these this endless, tireless, tireless type diet, to strictly tiring to this, this, this warfare that goes on in my mind. Because in my heart, I feel that I’m to be one way, but yet, externally, and I’m told that’s wrong. And so Something’s gotta give. Something’s gotta give. You can say, well, this is what the Bible says all day long to me, but I’m going to tell you that, you know, I get that I understand that. But it doesn’t mean that that feels like it’s right for me. Again, that could be part of sin, I could be wrong. But again, I could also argue with you and show you how, when the Bible talks about homosexuality, it’s not talking about what you think it is, which most likely you think is way different to from my understanding and what I have researched and down on my own and also show you that, you know, for the people that like to say that the King James Version of the Bible as the Bible, will the writer of that Bible was known as Queen James, the Queen of England, because he was a flaming homosexual. I mean, there’s so much that is been twisted, confused and manipulated. And all I know is the end result is that we are at war with each other, and at the same time, so much of what’s going on the Bible absolutely. They predicted. So I don’t I’m not discounting the Bible. But I am going to say that I’m not going to be that man of God or that preacher that has anyone hang anything over their head, or I’m not going to live in secret, and I’m not going to sit there and my philosophy are false. Like it. This is the way God made me and my flawed. Oh, I know what the Bible says the Bible also says, to be obedient to this government. And I’m sorry, I’m not doing that. I can’t do that. Because they’re, the government’s asking me to go against what God’s asked me to do. So why would I be obedient to that? So that’s wrong, what else is wrong? So I don’t have all the answers. And you can discount me as a man or a man of God, because I’m attracted to men. And I’m really, really unsure of the healthy way to go about that. And whether I ignore it, embrace it, what I don’t know, I don’t know what the right thing for me is that this is very much real for me. And so are the kinky sex desires. Because that’s what I know. I don’t really know normal sex. There’s always something traumatizing attached to it for me. Seriously, like, even I hate to break up sex, breakups, sex was a thing. That was the most normal sex I had was breakup sex. So I’m figuring all this out. It’s gonna probably be ugly. It’s not going to be perfect. I’m not going to do everything, right. But I’m gonna be honest about it, too.

Joshua T Berglan 21:55
And because I know that by being honest about it, one other people will know they’re not alone. Because I know I’m not the only one. Because I’m watching all the resignations of preachers that I can’t tell you how many gay and bisexual preachers I talk to day in and day out. And for various reasons. There’s a lot of people suffering and silence and a lot of people that don’t understand that a lot of people that are not having this thing taken from them, no matter what they do. But everyone’s afraid to talk about it because they are afraid. They’re afraid of giving up of losing money. They’re afraid of losing the congregation. They’re afraid of losing donors and donations, and sponsors and everything else. Well, I don’t have any of that. I don’t, we are. We are a 50501 C three nonprofit media company we serve. We don’t ask for donations, we need donations, we need your support, because we are viewer supported. We serve. But we also don’t have people hanging anything over our head. We don’t know how things get are going to get paid. We just rely on God. And so far, he’s providing everything we need. Everything we need. So when we’re supposed to look at someone’s fruit, as to how we’re going to judge them. I mean, I’m attracted to guys, I part of me wants to understand what all that really entails. I mean, it’s probably just companionship, to be honest with you. It’s way less sex than I think, are good. My brain wants to tell me I think it really does companionship, and which is something I haven’t had, like a male friend in a long time without something tragic attached to it. They may be that the people that I was closest to are the ones that molested me. I don’t know what it is. But I’m trying to figure it out. And I’m going to, I’m going to do it in a healthy way or try to do it in a healthy way. That will be perfect. But the thing is, is if I don’t know my identity, I don’t know who I am. Or what if I do know who I am and I’m not allowed to be that and that’s not going to feel good either. That’s a that’s not loving myself. It’s not making loving decisions for myself. So I get to do that. Then I’m going to do it. I don’t know what it’s gonna look like. And I’m like in council with the Lord with us. And I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m you know, some squeaky clean preacher guy because I’m Oh god. I don’t even want to call myself an evangelist and the I think names are stupid. The only reason why I like the world’s Mayor nickname is because it’s really not even about me. It’s about a mindset to elevate Everyone at work with everyone around me, I’m going to elevate. You know what, I can’t do that if I’m living a lie, and I’m not going to live a lie. I haven’t lived the White Night live a lie. Now, I’ve been honest about my confusion. I’ve been honest about my struggle. And guess what, it hasn’t changed. It hasn’t changed. And I know there’s other people out there that are just like me. And you are loved. God loves you the way you are. God doesn’t may not love your sin. He doesn’t love my sin. But I’m not 100% Sure this is a sin. Maybe is maybe the way you can go about it makes it a cent. Or I don’t know what the real answer is. Because I know, I know this is unequivocally the right word for this unequivocably. I know this without a shadow of a doubt that if I was acting out in a way that God didn’t like, then God would make me feel it. Because sin is death. And when you serve the Lord and your obedience to the Lord, and you do anything that does not align with the Lord, that’s when the Holy Spirit really will speak. That’s what he’ll make your stomach cramp up so that you can’t walk if you’re about to do something you’re not supposed to do. So I don’t know the answers. But I just know

Joshua T Berglan 26:51
that there’s something wrong with what we’ve been told this whole time. And I’m not supportive of any agendas. Other than the truth agenda. And I want to know what’s right for me. I want to live the way that I’m supposed to live. I don’t want to live in defiance to what God has told me to do. And God is is not a book, gods and everything. But God’s not a book, you know, worship the book, the relationships with, not with the book, relationships with the Lord with Christ. And that’s really the only way I know, to measure any truth at all. Is that a book? So, if you’re out there, and you’re struggling with anything, really, it can be any type of shame or secrets or struggle. And look, here’s the thing. The Saxon loss and sexuality struggle, that’s a real, that’s a real thing. You know why? Because you got landmines of temptation all around you social media, the internet as a whole, what’s on TV, go to the gym, shower, the gym. It’s just triggers everywhere. And so the only thing I know to do is to remove all of those things that could potentially trigger me to do something that is against that I know is against God. And that’s what I’m focused on. But at the same time, I’m going to be honest about where I’m at who I am, and judge me all you want. I don’t care. I don’t live for you. I live for God. And part of living for God has been honest. And part of my testimony because I’ve shared my testimony so publicly. And honestly, to the devil inside of the book, it’s in our movie, I’ve done broadcast on it. Now this like

Joshua T Berglan 29:17
it’s best to be honest. So that way God can work in your life. So you’re not alone if you’re struggling, and I’m happy to be there. I don’t want to do anything that triggers anybody. But if you need prayer, you need a friend. You need to vent you need to talk to a kid that’s going through this. Those apps are my favorite messages to get when it’s a parent’s and we talked to my kid because I know what it’s like. And I know one thing without truth. Nothing good gets set in motion. God bless you. Thank you for watching. And again, you need anything reach out I think I’ve said this like 14 times, though I don’t know what the point of this was other than to say, I love Jesus with all my heart, Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Without God, nothing in my life would fit makes sense or even work or I have no fruit. And right now we have, like we were doing, like God has blessed us immensely. And the only way I know that is because if I’m doing something that’s against him then maybe I’m only being rewarded because I’m being honest. Or maybe what we’ve been told is a lie. Both can be true, none can be true, I don’t know. But until then, I’m going to move forward. I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to remove any thing that is necessary to keep temptation from flaring up so I don’t act out switch, make any bad decisions. Any of that. I’m going to do my part to honor God and let Him work out the rest. What that ends up looking like, I don’t know, I’ll tell you, but I just want you to know if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. If I can be there for you. Let me know. God bless. Thank

Unknown Speaker 31:21
you