Gratitude:UnFiltered "The Chronicles of Charles Clay"
Charles Clay is a Speaker, Author and Empowerment Coach with an extensive background in Kinesiology and Neurokinetic Pain Relief Therapy.
He’s the Founder of M Powered Men’s Group Training, helping men move through fear and anxiety to discover their true purpose.
As a Gifted Catalyst for Healing, and an Expert on Optimizing Human Potential, Charles has a unique gift for transforming pain into purpose and helping others create a life by design instead of by default.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Charles Clay to Gratitude:UnFiltered!
Joshua T Berglan (22s):
What's up everyone, this is gratitude unfiltered set up. Looks different. Where the heck am I? Are you guys doing tonight? I love that song. I, you know, one of these days I'm going to have radio rights and I'm going to be able to play whatever song I want. Uh, but so happy you guys are here tonight. This is gratitude unfiltered we are alive right now, broadcasting on the E three 60 network, live on Amazon fire, Apple TV, Roku, Facebook live, YouTube, Instagram, TV, Twitch, and also the podcast.
Now are you guys so much for being here? So happy to be here. Settled. It's late night. It's nine o'clock. God knows what in the world is gonna come out of my mouth because I'm a little bit loopy. But fortunately for me, um, I have an audience in the background now and they're not being very polite with their noise, but anyway, happy to be here. So happy to see you guys. And um, yeah, this is going to be fun tonight. So it's been a long time. Uh, since we've done interviews on gratitude unfiltered we, you know, the, the, the live version we do at the church, but it's been a long time since, uh, we've done a gratitude unfiltered like this.
So I'm really, really excited. Um, our guest is actually a very special human and I'm really pumped to have him on a, he is a very insightful guy. We've been able to talk a few different times, but I just loved his vibe and I think you guys are going to really, really enjoy him. It's going to be a break from all of the other crazy, uh, subjects that we bend down, going down, uh, into for the last, what, the last few months. Um, but it's going to be a lot of fun, different, enlightening and you know, like, like every time in those, for those of you that are watching, uh, and you're new to the show and don't remember the days of, uh, all of the inner we use where he'd done.
Um, there was no script here. No one, he Charles doesn't know the questions. I don't know the questions. Um, we're just going to have some fun, get to know each other. And I think that you guys are going to walk away with a lot of value today and it's going to be a lot of fun. A really quick want to give a shout out to am Conchita, cosmetics, E E a M C O N C H, I T a. Dot com. You can use promo code, welcome 10 to save 10% on the new globally patent lash app and curl, which allows, if you love fake eyelashes, uh, you can apply lashes in five seconds or less.
And no kidding. Uh, it really, really works. So again, let's get into it. So tonight we have an amazing human being. Um, I think he has an announcement to make to, I think I heard through the grapevine there's something really cool about the happen in his life and I think you guys are going to enjoy it, but you know what, and I've, I was kinda joking around the other day about this, that I don't really enjoy interviewing coaches because it seems like they're all doing the same crap. They all went to the same course that they got up, sold into, and now they have a coaching business.
It's kind of like coaches and pastors. They'll give any, I mean, I can go online and hit, hit a few buttons and all of a sudden I'm a pastor. It just doesn't make sense to me. Well, that happens with coaches too. So I really don't enjoy interviewing coaches. However, Charles this guy, not only is he done the work, has the education, he is bringing a different skillset than most of you have heard before. So ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, let's w well, only Mr. Charles Clay to gratitude unfiltered yeah.
How are you man? I'm good. How you doing brother? It's been a while. Gratitude unfiltered man, I'm so glad to be here. Thanks for having me on. Can you hear me all right there? I do. There's a small delay, but it could be all my intern, but we'll make it work. Um, really quick. Want to give a shout out Todd? Good to see you. My man. Welcome here, Julie. Always insightful on the show.
Rachel. Really, really good to see you guys. Um, what's up Kimberly? Good to see you. So we'll probably be at, well we may take some questions. So you guys, this is an interactive programs, so you guys feel, uh, feel free to ask questions. Um, but we're going to have a lot of fun. But first things first Charles what are you grateful for today? I'm grateful for you. Rather we've, uh, we've been dropping in on a little bit of a bromance here, uh, online. So it's, uh, it's really great to be right here right now getting a drop in.
That's good to see you. I don't know. Um, an audience and forgive, this is live of course. So there's not editing this out. If there's a delay or something. If you get, I said, let me know so I can just make sure on my end, uh, that we're good. What's up Jessica? Good to see you saying hi to Charles. Uh, Natasha, great to see you. Thank you for being here. So, uh, good to see you Kevin. So Charles first things first, man, you, you, you talked about what you're grateful for and unfortunately a cutout, it's fine, but you have something really exciting happening in your life right now.
What is it? Mmm, only the highest honor I can imagine as a man, I have a beautiful, I have a beautiful little baby coming into this world any day now. Yes. Wait a second. So literally on the air you could find out you have the O S bag ready to run out the door. Yeah.
Charles Clay (6m 5s):
If, if her water breaks right now I'm going to have to balance and uh, I hope you guys all understand
Joshua T Berglan (6m 11s):
well and, and you know what, you'll get to the front of the line the next, if that happened. So listen, I want to ask, cause I kind of picked on coaches at the beginning of the show because they'll give anyone a coaching certificate or you're a little bit different. But first things first, what got you into like, what motivated you to want to be a coach? Like where'd that come from?
Charles Clay (6m 34s):
Yeah. You know, I think we all have to start somewhere, right? And, uh, my, my career began right after I graduated college from Washington state university with my degree in kinesiology. So my, my expertise was always with the body, you know, health, wellness, fitness. And uh, so I became a trainer. I was running bootcamps as training like 10 clients a day, just gung ho ready to, you know, save the world with fitness.
And, um, that was a really fun chapter. And also got like super burnt out. You know, when you, you train 10 clients a day and you're relying on coffee and, um, you know, stimulants and, and whatever, whatever you can, I was not practicing what I preached. I would go out on the weekends and indulged in, uh, over-consumption and, um, you know, sex, drugs, rock and roll, anything to really get to not feel certain emotions that a, I wasn't processing at the time.
And so that took me on a deep self healing journey. And, um, and I'm sure we'll get to dive in more on that, but, uh, that literally led me to the place of coaching and, um, I realized the power of men's groups and men's circles and, um, and this just ancient practice that we've been able to bring back into the modern world when it's needed now more than ever. And I'm so creating a space for some of the deep healing and some of the, uh, truth and honesty and um, and then burning of some of the old patterns and beliefs that no longer serve us.
Um, that has been in a nutshell, kind of the fast version of my evolution and how I got into coaching really.
Joshua T Berglan (8m 37s):
So informing men's groups, the idea behind that typically works with most men's groups is a place for men to be vulnerable, but men don't exactly just become vulnerable. Like it takes some work to get them to get there. What has been the thing that you've noticed out of working with men? Don't rat anybody out, don't use anyone's names, but like what would you say the biggest thing that you've taken away from working with men has been in that setting of, you know, where they're, they need to be vulnerable and you're working with these men to read, rediscover who they are as men.
Maybe they never even knew what a man really was. What has been the biggest takeaway I've gotten from working with the men?
Charles Clay (9m 24s):
Uh, we're all in this together. I remember trying to do my dirtiest, hardest, deepest, y'know, uh, work on my own. Like anytime something challenges I'd be going through, I would try to run off to my man cave and, and deal with it on my own and tell, uh, I was feeling up to, you know, stepping out of the cave and ready to help others. But now after seeing the power of group and the fact that together there's just this deep level of comradery, and when we actually step into vulnerability, there's so much power there and allows for deeper connection that, um, I gained all kinds of golden nuggets.
Um, from, from stepping into that, I realized like, Oh, I don't doing this alone and trying to run off into the man-cave when I get hit with challenges in life, there's this slow evolution, you know? And so, um, we're all dealing with the same stuff in our own different perceptions of it. So by, um, one man being able to share what's on his heart and what's been holding him back, um, it allows for some deep healing for everyone else too.
That's been going through something similar. So that's the power in numbers and of creating that type of container where we can hold space for one another and allows for some, some fast level transformation, you know, and, um, and then that expands out and it creates a ripple effect, right? If you know a man steps up, shares what he's been feeling ashamed for for years and, and um, instead of getting laughed at like he's used to, he actually gets held in that and through that process and then comes out a stronger man and lighter and more in alignment with his purpose.
Then he gets to go out and become a better leader and he's inspired to help more people and then creates this ripple effect. And so that's what I've been able to witness, um, over and over that just leads to this level of fulfillment that's much greater than, uh, any amount of money could ever suffice. Okay.
Joshua T Berglan (11m 47s):
What's been, what would be the biggest surprise that you've seen in working with men? There's lot of wet, there's primarily women that are watching right now. So, which is kind of the case, uh, with this show is, it's really strange, like the live audience is women and then at gravitates towards men later. But when we've been talking about relationships and kingdom minded relationships this week, so this is kind of, um, it's interesting that this is the final show of the week on Friday and we're talking about men right now, but what, what has been the biggest surprise that you and what you've learned from working with other men that you think would be interesting for the women?
Charles Clay (12m 28s):
Yeah, that's a fun question. I mean, uh, first love to give some, some shots out and some props to the women that have already been doing a lot of this work. Like the women are keen to this and doing the, the women's circles and they've been, you know, um, doing this type of healing work, um, for a lot longer than the guys. And so it's time again that the men are stepping up and showing up for this work more instead of hiding in the man cave.
And so, uh, I've seen all kinds of surprising things. Um, you know, I've seen, um, men step into, um, their greatest fears and, and get to move through some of that and get to witness that dance.
Joshua T Berglan (13m 15s):
What do you think? Okay, so you're talking about fears. What is a fear that you find yourself working with? Because men don't talk about what they're afraid of. They say, I'm worried about losing my boat. I'm losing my house. I like, you know, it's always something cave Manish, that men, if they are going to express a fear, it's something more along that. But the truth is it's always something more personal and you know, it's an insecurity that would shock people like so like spill the beans, man, give, give the lady something.
Charles Clay (13m 51s):
Sure. So a common denominator is, um, being good enough, right? Am I, am I good enough? Am I ever going to be good enough? Am I ever going to have enough, you know, these are like really common, um, old belief patterns that we pick up when we're really young. And, um, and so this has been part of my journey. You know, I've got to dive in on that one and pull some of those weeds from my garden and, um, get to plant some new seeds.
And so it's interesting, um, when we do this type of work, it's, you realize like the only thing that fear is fear itself and fear showing us where to look. It's like showing us within ourselves where to look, you know, and where love is needed most. And so for me, that was my little 10 year old that was not feeling good enough. Oh. And he was stuck in that loop and so I got to go back and rescue him by doing some re parenting.
I do. Yeah. And it's powerful work. We can't talk about it. Yeah.
Joshua T Berglan (15m 8s):
It would ruin it. Well, we can't go there. Oh my gosh. If you ever audience, if you ever get the opportunity to do or reparenting exercise. Oh my God, it is. It's so powerful. But you said 10 years old. So mine was, mine was seven years old,
Charles Clay (15m 25s):
Speaker 4 (15m 26s):
Joshua T Berglan (15m 27s):
What happened at 10 years old
Charles Clay (15m 29s):
that started the loop? Yeah. My mom, the woman I love the most, um, took her own life when I was 10. Yeah. So you can imagine, Oh man, how much, how much pain I went through in, I have a 10 year old trying to cope with that. And I remember being so ingrained with this programming of the men I'd hung out with and have this belief that it's not that men shouldn't cry, that we can't show tears.
It's a sign of weakness. Right? So I remember being at her funeral, sitting next to my older brother and try not to cry and my own mom's funeral. And, and those were tears that took me years to access, you know, after this. And so, you know, we all have these, these old beliefs that hold us back from feeling what's true and authentic and that which we resist persists, right? And then it ends up showing up over and over through our reality until we go back and heal it.
And, um, for me, you know, it's just, it's been quite a journey and I just feel blessed to have had 10 amazing years with my mom who was such an angel and, um, and I still connect with her. So aye.
Joshua T Berglan (16m 59s):
I was hoping you were going to say your dad. No offense. I just like I cause I can't even imagine that is the one for me that I'm, no, I, and I've, I've had my issues with my father obviously is why I said that, but my mom has was my saving grace, so I can't like as you talk about that, just being away from, you know, it makes me sad because I loved my mom, so I, my heart hurts man for you. I, I, I, I, I didn't know that.
Charles Clay (17m 30s):
sorry. All right, bye. Then
Joshua T Berglan (17m 36s):
w so where's your, was your father there? I mean, would your father step up and play the role as mom after that or
Charles Clay (17m 42s):
big time? He was, my dad was amazing. He was like definitely the disciplinarian, you know, when, when they got divorced, we love to be in at mom's much more cause she let us, uh, you know, she took us to the ocean and had just the most amazing, vivid childhood memories of, uh, exploring nature. And Erin, I'm trying new foods and, and then, you know, we go to dad's and it was more about like putting us to work, you know, working for a buck an hour, um, doing the grunt work on the houses he was building at the time.
So, um, but my dad really stepped up. He was my heroes. I was really impressed. And, um, you know, that was another journey is that there was a time where there wasn't a lot of, uh, a lot of love between, expressed between my father and I, and even my brother, you know, it was more like he was kind of the hard ass on us when we were out of line. And, and so we, you know, there were times we hated him. And, um, and so to be able to now reach a level of emotional intelligence to, um, to be able to tell my dad how much I mean he means to me and how much I love them and get to hug and we, you know, it was like, that was a really important evolution for me and allowed for just incredible memories with him.
And, um, he, he passed, um, four years ago, so
Joshua T Berglan (19m 16s):
I just want to give, I think everyone that's watching right now just wants to like reach to the screen and hug you.
Charles Clay (19m 21s):
Yeah. God, man.
Joshua T Berglan (19m 24s):
And so this has got to make having a baby become that much more special. Yeah. You have any, this is probably not the best question to ask you, but do you have fear around having a child? I mean, are there, are there weird taunts coming into your brain because of this now? Or is it all joy?
Charles Clay (19m 46s):
You know, it's mostly excitement. Um, it's like I said, this is the highest honor I can, I feel I can step into as a man, you know, a father and a husband and, and, um, and I feel blessed to have had such an amazing father to follow in his footsteps. And, um, and you know, I was with my dad all the way into the end and literally like, was there to help him transition. And so I found beauty in even that and, um, and that's allowed me, you know, that pain and that loss has really allowed me to, um, understand life much better from being that close to death, um, from the ones that love so much.
So it gives me a new presence, you know, and just realizing that, that, that is the greatest gift that we can give each other and our loved ones and ourselves is his presence. Like really fully being there in it. And, um, so it's more when fear comes up, it's like transmuted into excitement. Just did meet this sweet little angel that's coming through. And, uh, so all sorts of girl. Yeah. Yeah. Little babies. Yeah.
Joshua T Berglan (21m 4s):
Oh, I'm uh, well I will, I'll share that later. Um, so the, um, you, you said you talked about getting excited when their sphere, I talk about that all the time when, like if it's something I'm supposed to, you know, the, the tip, when I feel any amount of fear, I immediately now have triggered. I've created this trigger for me to get excited about it because I know what's on the underside of it. So it's like, ah, screw it. It's gonna hurt anyway, so might as well do it.
And that's been my attitude with fear, but it wasn't always like that. I used to be paralyzed by fear. Di have you always been relatively fearless or is that something that you learned? Like when did you learn what they're trusting God? Like, okay, I know what this sphere is and I know that it's meant for me to overcome it. Like when did that attitude for your shift or was it always,
Charles Clay (22m 1s):
that's a great question. Um, I think I've always been, uh, an Explorer at heart. I've always kind of really pushed the extremes in both directions and, uh, we're not allowed to drink together. And I've always been in my nature, whether it's, you know, bending rules that I don't really agree with or, um, you know, just pushing the limits of what's possible. Um, so I, so I've become familiar with fear and, and over the years, uh, really developed a nice relationship with it, you know, instead of, um, running from it, leaning into it and, and like you said, like just knowing like, Ooh, what's here?
Because it feels this uncomfortable right now. There's something amazing on the other end of this that, you know, I get excited to feel into. And so, um, it's been this beautiful dance, you know, and, and so, um, that's one of the things that I get to help a lot of men with, you know, because it's coming up now more than ever with everything going on in the world to, to be cleanse so that everybody can find a healthy relationship with their fear.
Joshua T Berglan (23m 18s):
Now you, so a lot of the the coaches I'm familiar with, and again I'm not trying to throw anyone under the bus because it's, I have a lot of friends that are coaches, but a lot of them seem to always the only focus on one thing like mindset, which mindset can be so vast but it's they simplify it. Maybe too much it look you're one of the few that is actually, it's a mind, body and soul and spirit. Like you're kinda, you're, you're going at all of it.
And so I would, it's easy to assume that you, because it's obvious that you need all of it to be able to properly thrive and soar. Where did, what I like about you is the diversity
Charles Clay (24m 4s):
Joshua T Berglan (24m 5s):
what it is that you're teaching. So how did you come about that approach? Because a lot of people, again, they choose one thing, one topic typically to focus on business.
Charles Clay (24m 18s):
Joshua T Berglan (24m 19s):
how you do one thing is how you do everything. So like think that you would want to have family, mind, body, soul,
Charles Clay (24m 27s):
all of it
Joshua T Berglan (24m 29s):
motivated you to be well rounded in your approach. As a coach,
Charles Clay (24m 35s):
um, part of that it was exploration. You know, my journey of, um, the coaches can only coach as far as they've walked themselves. Yeah, yeah. You know, I had, I remember, um, I broke my back snowboarding, like the worst physical pain I've ever experienced up in the top of mammoth mountain. You know, and, and looking back, this goes back to like, if you really pay attention, the universe kind of gives you a little feather. Like, Hey, you're a little out of alignment.
You want might want to make some changes here to, uh, you're back into alignment and, you know, didn't listen to that. And then I get hit by like the brick in the head from the universe of like, Hey, you were, you know, developing these unhealthy relationships with going out on the weekends and indulging too much and over consuming instead of creating. And so they didn't pay attention to that. And so when I didn't make any changes, eventually I found myself on mammoth mountain in a total blizzard. I'm snowboarding with some friends and I went off a jump that I didn't know was there.
And, um, I remember being in there, I can't see anything. There's just snow everywhere. It's all white. And I landed so hard, um, the surprise impact and it was just like this lightning bolt in my back. And so that was kind of like the Mack truck that, um, really put me down, um, to help me realign with, you know, back then I was teaching health and wellness, but then going out on the weekends and self-sabotaging and so that, that pain, um, I'll never forget because I had to click off my board and like sit on my board and try to, you know, slide down.
Um, while my back was jacked up and at it I had to like channel my inner Spartan warrior, you know, in that moment. And I'm trying for my mommy, I don't know what you're doing, man. I yell, I tried to get ahold of my friends, like my phone was dead, like you name it. I was stuck up there by myself. And so that took me on. That took me on a really, um, deep dive journey. Uh, cause then I made down the mountain and had to go see all these doctors and they're telling me like, show me how messed up my spine is and that I might never walk the same.
So talk about fear. Um, you know, I'm one that fully appreciates and is grateful for these bodies that we get to live in and, and, you know, call home for such a short time and this human experience. And boy, mine was jacked up and they said I needed surgery. And, and luckily it missed the fear. I could access my intuition and was like, you know what? I'm going to try everything else natural to heal this first. And that took me on a deep dive with a meditation and I remember I could barely even crawl to the bathroom.
I was in so much pain and I just gave up. I was like, okay, I surrender. Like I'm open to healing this with any answers that can come through. And I sat there and bawled. Like I just cried. I felt the fear of never, maybe not being able to, um, move the same again. I remember feeling shame of not even being able to like get to work and just look like a meth and um, guilt and all this stuff came up and I actually like finally sat with it and like, and let it flow.
And underneath all those tears was like this new level of like relief. Just like, man, that's what I was over consuming for, was to not feel that I was running from those heavy emotions and trying to find anything for the quick, quick fulfillment of like, what can I eat, drink, you know, pleasure to notch, feel grief, to not feel shame and all these emotions.
Right? So I went there and then I went into a meditation with the intention of healing my back. And literally during that meditation a friend texted me and I looked at my phone later and this is a guy I hadn't heard from in years and he said, Hey, I heard you're back's messed up. Neuro kinetic therapy. And so this took me on a rabbit hole to study the work of David Weinstock who's a genius. This guy has figured out how to get answers from the body, um, with applied kinesiology and this really powerful method that I just felt really called to intuitively.
And so in my first session, you know, I walked in and I looked like Shakira, like stuck in a mid hip dance move. Like I was a mess. I was, it was representative of how out of alignment I was. Yeah. My body's over here, over there and uh, and super embarrassing. And so I get on the table and I start learning about, Holy cow. My jaw was clenching and creating a neurological traffic jam so that the signal couldn't get to my glutes and I couldn't even fire my glutes.
And like you, you know, they'd muscle test my glute muscles. Nothing was working. And so she goes, I know we just met, but, uh, I'm going to have to go in your mouth. And I was like, you're going to watch. And so I was, no, this is a neuro kinetic terror therapy. This is N K T. and, um, this is my first session. And so I had my mind blown and she released my job. I was so painful that opened up the neural pathways so that my glutes can fire again.
She did this for a couple other muscle groups and all of a sudden everything's firing on all cylinders so I could stabilize my spine again. I get off the table and I'm like, hallelujah. I can move again. Like I, I felt 90% better in one session and had a huge epiphany. I was like, that's it. I need to learn this. And so I went on to study at, or David Weinstock and took all his courses and was blown away and got to really evolve my training practice at the time into more of a healing practice and to help others with self-healing.
So I'm not, I'm not your healer, I'm not your guru. But man, I've learned some really cool, amazing tricks with the body to getting answers as to where your aches, pains, injuries are stemming from. And so I see a lot of the same common denominators and, um, it's just been fascinating. And so that really took me on a path from pain to purpose. And so, um, that really ignited my, you know, inspiration for more service, um, to specifically the men that I kept seeing the same common denominator men's, a lot of the men's jaw overcompensating, especially right side, the doing the masculine for the intrinsic core muscles are called the transverse abdominis.
And so they would, they would show up to me with back pain and they'd be like, dude, I don't know what's going on. I can't walk straight, can't lift anymore. So they threw out their back. I give him, we figured out through muscle testing that their job's compensating for their intrinsic core muscles. I show them how to release their job, turn those muscles back on. All of a sudden they're feeling like a new man getting off the table and uh, and, and then they go tell their friends. And this was a huge common denominator.
And, um, and then underlying that was, I kept seeing men with, um, you know, emotional responses. So same journey that I had to go on, right. It's like we're here as humans getting to feel the full spectrum of emotions. And so there's no running from them, you know, it's just, we're just throwing them in our backpack and they become issues in our tissues cause they're energy in motion. And, um, so I, that's when I was called to really, um, create the men's groups and, and help men in that way.
And that all came to me during a meditation in Costa Rica when I'm, I just asked, how can I share all of my greatest gifts into one program that can really impact a lot of men and help them discover their true purpose? And that's how empowered men's group training was born.
Joshua T Berglan (33m 12s):
That is so freaking cool, man. Like it. Like, Oh man, what do I want to go with this? You said you brought up shame. Shame is shame has led me to more bad has been the route of more bad decisions that I've made. What, how did you break free from shame? Because a lot of people deal with that, especially those who have a lot of secrets.
Um, you know, they, they, they live in constant fear. Like, what, how did you break free from that
Charles Clay (33m 54s):
all starts with our truth. Sad to be honest with myself. Like what's, what's working and not what's not working. And then when I take a look at what's not working deep dive into where those feelings of shame started, you know, where that program was installed and just like a computer, you know, it was like windows 2007 software in my mind that kept running the same program over and over until uh, I went back and re-installed some new information.
So it's, um, it had to feel it to heal it and, and really, um, start with our truth of like, what's really not working? Like where, what relationships are we struggling with and is it with ourself? Is it with, what are we reaching for alcohol for or drugs or you know, porn, whatever it is. All those things that were either looking forward, a stuffed down emotions or to escape from the present or um, to not feel something.
Those are all showing us something. Right? And every time I would choose consuming over creating, then I would ultimately feel guilty. And like a bit of shame from not fully stepping into what I knew I was capable of. And so, um, I call it the PAC man program, right? It's like this, you know, okay, I just want to go, I'm not feeling good now. I want to go to the fridge and just see what God I can stuff my face with or I want to go whenever.
Right? And instead I sit and take a pause and a breath and just the PAC man program, okay, I want to consume right now. What am I avoiding? What do I, what is it that I really want to, um, create that will give me longterm fulfillment, right? And that's this huge list that everybody has of all the things that you want to do before you die. And so instead of going down the path that I was all too familiar with, you know, over consuming and overindulging, which leads to the guilt and the shame and then, um, a punishing workout the next day to try to feel better instead of that path.
I, I continue to choose my stepping into my creator and then, and then I would be like, okay, I'm gonna go play some music right now, or I'm going to go create an experience, you know, with my wife. That's amazing. Or I'm going to, um, you know, create that new program or that new content that's that I had, um, the download for, you know, instead. And that has made all the difference. And every time I choose that over the PAC man program, then it's like, boom, new neural pathway that keeps getting easier and easier to choose.
And that is some of the most amazing work that I've gotten to see some of the men have the biggest impact from is getting out of the consumer program and stepping into creator. And that's where I think humanity is really getting to take a look out right now. Because, you know, every other country, like their main, their main thing is like exporting their goods, whatever they're creating. U S seven is all consuming.
It's like, it's crazy. And so, um, you know, when we start taking a look at ourselves and where we're doing that in our lives and where we can be less wasteful and step into being creators, then um, it creates a ripple effect. And I think we're all getting to take a big look at that at what's not working. Um, all the systems, every program that's, you know, we've been tolerating up to this point is really coming up to the surface to be healed and to be moved through so that we can co-create a new world together.
Speaker 4 (38m 2s):
Charles Clay (38m 4s):
Joshua T Berglan (38m 5s):
I did. Um, it's been a couple of weeks but there's a universal principle or a kingdom principle about creativity and it's how essential it is to our growth and how it can be a great way to channel and divert a negative energy. Um, it's, yeah, creativity is, is such a powerful thing. And I, I'm, I'm glad that you brought this up cause it reminds me, cause I never actually thought about it from when I'm in one of those places where I want to go consume, to try to take my mind off something I never really wrapped my thought about.
I can take that energy and put it into something creative because even if it's, maybe it's an ugly thought or something I don't feel good about myself about or maybe something happens, I can still harness that energy. And of course, you know, gratitude unfiltered and being able to do this. When I do solo shows, it's, I do get to treat it like it's a therapy session or try to create healing through the process of truth, even if it's painful or revealing. But I liked this because I'm in a create a new trigger in my brain because I like to look, there's times that I just want to go eat 12 donuts.
Like, you know, I mean it's just cause that's what freaking feels good at the time or it sounds good until I want to vomit after eating them. But I'm gonna remember that for creativity now, whether it's just writing, whether it's creating content or whatever. Like I really love that. I'm glad that you shared that.
Charles Clay (39m 43s):
And um, yeah, even, you know, now you have that choice. Even just taking that breath in that pause of like, cool, I know what a doughnut tastes like and that does sound really good right now. However, do I want that short term, you know, fix or do I want something that's gonna really give me some longterm fulfillment and create something cool that I can share with others. Um, and then you get to consciously choose and maybe choose the donut and that's fine, but you know, maybe you just have a couple bites instead of 12 of them and, and you don't feel like Jabba the Hutt afterwards.
There's no wrong way to do it.
Joshua T Berglan (40m 21s):
Well, yeah, there is. I, I was that guy. It didn't matter if it was a donut, Coca Cola or cocaine, I was doing all of it. Like I'm buying, if you buy a two liter of Coke, it's gone. If there's 12 donuts, they're all gone. If there's five cheeseburgers, they're gone. Like I'm just like all in or nothing. And why is that? You know, I think I created the habit, you know, young and, and I was one of those people that was trying, working so hard to escape everything.
So it didn't matter if you put cocaine, water, tequila, orange juice, Apple juice, grapefruit juice, like whatever it was, it was gone in a second without even paying attention to it. I don't, I think like I wasn't so much that I had ever had a drinking problem. It was just that I would drink and not pay attention. And then next thing I know I've had seven drinks and I'm like, what the heck? Just happened. Like, and now I'm doing cocaine. Like how'd this happen? But that's because I wasn't aware.
I wasn't, my brain was always elsewhere. I was never present. I really believe that it's just a lack of being in my body or not being present. I don't do that now. Like, I mean I'm more disciplined about well donuts, like now I may have to instead of 18, um, you know, I'm better, but it's still something like if I'm not paying attention, like at lunch I could have 15 ice teas and without ever thinking like it's so I really have to make sure that I'm present.
And that's something that I've worked really, really hard on an all areas of my life, whether I'm with people. Um, you know, it's easy when you're on the computer to be present, right? In my human relationships that are, that are not digitalized. Like I've, I've really had to work at that because being present has never been a strong point of mine and I've really worked on it. And this, with this virus that's happened, it's allowed me to practice it more cognitively and it's, I've seen drastic improvements, but it's not where I want it to be yet by any means.
So I'm working on it beautiful. Like everything. I think I have life figured out. God shows me more. I get to work on, yeah, we know it all. Or we're always right. Then we get the ego check, like, Hey, I'm Heather from the universe, right? Yeah. You know, we have a question. Hold on. There we go. Do you overindulge because it's not really fulfilling you. Is that for you or for me?
I didn't know she's asking. I think so. You had some jazzy she's talking to me. Wow. Um, whole Springs freezing a little bit. Okay. So I want to ask you about your wife. I don't know your wife, I know nothing about your wife, but I do know that you love your wife and I, it's obvious because I don't think that you can be as excited about bringing a child into the world as you are without really loving your wife.
Absolutely. I want you to talk about, I don't want, and I could be wrong about this, but you know, the men that I, the men, little boys pretending to be men that I grew up around, you know, when they T they were getting married. It was like it was because it was like the time to do it. They'd been with somebody for a long time that, you know, they, the sex was good enough and like we've been together. So that would just kind of get married, like the whole idea.
And then all of those people that I know, looking back at them now, none of them are happy in their marriage. None of them look at their wife with the joy and glee when they find out they were having shoulder and they wanted to, they basically became drug addicts or dove in the bottle. It was always the exact opposite of, and admittedly I've been the worst kind of partner, I mean in my, for my previous life, and I've done the work to become the kind of man that can attract the right kind of woman.
But as far as everything around me and the people I see, none of them are happy to be married. None of them are in love. It's really kind of depressing. It's like, why did you even do it? And again, I've been married three times. So like I've, I can give you a lot of reasons why people get married for the wrong reason, but it's rare to see someone your age, I don't even know the age that you are, but you're younger and you're like happy as heck to be in love with your wife.
Like where did that come from? Like disc. What was your relationship like for you to have this kind of love still after being married and now expecting a baby?
Charles Clay (45m 23s):
A great question. I love this. A couple things there. One, it came, she came from heaven and she is a goddess. Like I, I scored the jackpot and like, and I feel like the luckiest man alive and I also know that we create our own luck. So it wasn't without any, any work and intention and there was a lot that went into it is what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah, I did.
We manifest that each other. Um, and I don't, I don't know how we will, we like to go, but go out there, you should hear this. So I had to step into my full sovereignty before I was ready for a queen and I'm right. I thought I was ready and I would get, you know, some close, you know, close to, but I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to fully commit and, and I thought I had a commitment issue.
And, um, and then I really just took a break from dating and got really clear on what I wanted and what, um, was sabotaging me from that. Um, you know, I used to be into porn and stuff for awhile and, and really when I made a conscious commitment to give up porn, that's when I became super clear on my visualizations. I was like, what am I using this for? When I can visualize in our mind, doesn't know the difference between a good imagination and visualization and reality.
So I was getting really clear on who and what and what my queen felt like with her. And so I used some, um, pretty powerful techniques that, uh, that I teach that are really simple but powerful ways of channeling sexual energy into manifestation because this is the most potent and powerful energy that I know of on the planet has sexual energy and it's been, um, shunned and it's been misused because of all the shame and in, you know, that people have dealt with from their upbringing typically.
And, um, religious reasons and every, everybody's story is different. But I got to break free from that and really step into using that sexual energy into channeling that into I'm manifesting my queen and, um, it's probably, um, one of the most amazing things that's happened. And then we've been so in love that it was just like we tried to hold off as long as we could and, um, having a child, but there it was, our baby wanted to come through and, uh, there was, you know, it's all a blessing and, uh, we went on an Epic journey together.
You know, we like, as soon as I met her, we met via Facebook. Um, but I had been sending her pleasure energetically before we've even met in, um, online or, or physically. And it wasn't long before we had two conversations and, um, you know, she came to visit and, um, we didn't even talk when I first picked her up at the airport. I just walked up and I just kissed her and just knew that electricity was exactly what I was envisioning and, and, uh, just felt her before I even met her and in physical form, so pretty potent.
And um, and then she, uh, had me on, invited me on a call with one of her, she's a medicine woman and she's like really powerful, um, at her background and um, psychotherapy and her master's degree in psychology. And so she is just, uh, a beautiful medicine woman goddess. And she had invited me on this call too. Um, this is like the first two weeks that we met and, um, and everything just kind of was like hopping on this spaceship and we were just like, let's go all in.
And yes, yes, yes. Let's go to Peru. Cool. Let's go. All right. Yes, let's go to your friend's having a birthday and Austin. Cool. Let's go. And it was just like kept saying yes to this love and she invited me on a call with her past life regression therapist, um, psychic. And you know, I was, uh, I had only seen a couple of psychics that I felt intuitively like, called to that I really trust. And so I wasn't really into that too much, but I was open-minded and this felt like a funk.
Yes. So next thing you know, um, you know, she's telling us about how we had, um, been in the, um, Calloway tribe, um, back in the ink and days together. And I'm sitting in circles and, and um, had a romance then. And so just like all these past lives that we had known each other before, and, um, it was like oddly resonated with me and, and um, so we later researched that tribe and found out that, um, they were a group of healers like 300 in, I'm in a community and they were the first ones to be recorded to, um, help heal malaria back then.
And, um, and also do, um, healings on the mind and body. So it was really, really fascinating to deep dive on that. And then, um, she'd been channeled my mom on that call and I was just in tears and like completely vulnerable and just felt this like really deep connection. And, um, my mom was just so happy that, that we had met and she had been guiding this and, and so, um, I, I broke down and I remember after that call I said, I said, Brandon, you do a hell of a background check pass.
She was going way back past lives. And, um, and so ever since I realized why it was so hard to commit with, um, previous lovers, um, is because I hadn't met her yet. And so, um, we've just been full throttle ever since. We moved like three times in the last year. Um, we finally landed, bought a home here near Austin, Texas and I'm right before everything went down in the world, um, with the quarantine and everything.
And, uh, I would just feel super blessed and grateful to have landed here and enjoy in our community. And this next chapter of life that we get to bring in. So it's all, it's all blessing.
Joshua T Berglan (52m 19s):
This is, this is odd. Um, cause I, I pay, I mean I like to pay attention to signs from the universe and randoms and sequences and like, you know, I love seeing numbers line up. But then when you, you're the third person today and yet, well I didn't talk to you yesterday, but today, the third person that I've spoken to from Austin, I'm hosting an event, uh, that's based out of Dallas and Austin on Monday. And uh, yeah, they're from all the people are from Austin. And so there's such a cool vibe down there.
It seems like what a cool city. Uh, you came from LA, right? Then you guys move.
Charles Clay (52m 58s):
So I lived in San Diego for about 15 years, moved up to, um, I was in Pacific beach and then moved to Encinitas and shuttle and I had quite a comfort bubble there. Man. I like such amazing tribe. Like I thought I would never leave Encinitas. And then I may, I meet Brandilyn and next thing you know, um, she's living with me in Encinitas for a while. Then I lived, um, we moved into a place in the Bay area, um, near the redwoods that she loves.
And, um, and then we both got the hit that like, wow, after so many years like this, we both feel like really complete with California and we've got a strong intuitive hit. Um, our highest excitement was Austin and it kind of surprised us both, but I'm happy to find that there was so much of our community and, um, tribe already here, you know, and a lot of people be in the same intuitive hits. So the vibe is awesome here. Even even with everything that's been going on.
Um, uh, like, just to give you an idea of like how nice our neighbors are, you know, just move him. I'm, I'm on a call with a client and that the neighbor like two doors down is mowing my lawn out. I haven't even met him yet, you know, and like just random acts of kindness and um, just it's, it's way more green here than I imagine. We have like the green belt, right. Walking distance from our place. It's gorgeous.
You're going to love it here and a waterfalls and nature and um, yeah, we felt like we hit the jackpot here
Joshua T Berglan (54m 40s):
and it sounds like it. I've only driven through it, so I need to make a trip to Austin. I'm afraid though. I will love it so much that I'll just stay. So
Charles Clay (54m 49s):
probably will happen in LA.
Joshua T Berglan (54m 54s):
I moved to San Diego without ever being in there. Um, I D I marry people. I don't know. I, I make a lot of really just random like, Hey, I'm going to do it. Cause it feels right.
Charles Clay (55m 4s):
Joshua T Berglan (55m 12s):
What, so what's next man? Like, what do you, um, I don't, I don't, I don't want you to share your vision with the world or anything like that,
Charles Clay (55m 20s):
but what, like
Joshua T Berglan (55m 23s):
what's a goal that you have that you, that you are working on, that you do want to share outside of being an amazing husband and father. What kind of a, you, you've a pet project, you're working on. Anything that's exciting you right now.
Charles Clay (55m 39s):
Yeah, really my highest excitement, second to, uh, Sophia coming in this world is my empowered men's group training and mastermind. Um, these guys that have been shown up are incredible and it just inspires me. It's like right now, um, all the pressure in the world is really creating, um, leaders and just sculpting diamonds, you know, with, um, so really getting to do this work is such an honor. Um, group training.
Um, I've had a number of female clients that have reached out to me for, um, some of the process that I take people through for pulling out those weeds that are, I'm in the garden, those programs that no serve us. And, um, just been seeing tremendous results and getting a lot of confirmation with, um, the clients that have been shown up. So, um, I'm being very present and very optimistic about the future. Um, so yeah, the, um, I feel like we are getting to co-create the golden age right now and it's not easy.
Like everybody's kind of in the cocoon stage of like the transformation and looking at, you know, all the crap that's coming up in our lives that, um, gets to, that we get to let go of and, and make way and create something greater. So, um, really get to be an ally in helping others through that journey. And, um, so just feel blessed and honored to be able to do this work.
Joshua T Berglan (57m 14s):
I'm going to say something and I, I it, you can disagree. It's okay. Like I don't need to be right about this, but I feel like what's happening in the world right now and outside of Vinnie conspiracy crap, we don't need to go there. But I do feel like because I do, one of my deepest rooted beliefs is that God will use anything that we give him. And I also believe that there has to be balance in the world. So for all of the craziness and chaos and fear and you know, there's people losing their jobs, there's losing, losing, and people have lost a lot of things that really come to find out, don't matter that much.
What I'm getting at is this. You have, this is an opportunity, this incubator period, as you said, for people to wake up and realize that, Oh, wait a second, God gave me a unique purpose and maybe it wasn't a stupid job that I had these things that I valued so much. And so it's all been taken away and it's giving everyone an opportunity in this moment to go to check themselves, to go, okay, why am I here? What am I supposed to contribute to this world?
And so there's this window of time that it's like God has pushed pause. All right, everybody, you got your chance. So strap in to your purpose. It's time to step into it. But the play button's about to get hit again. And there's a lot of people that waited. They used excuses. They were, they were caught up in their story, their BS. There are lies there. Fear around truth, whatever. They're going to get left behind.
And they, and they thought they were frustrated before those people that didn't take this opportunity to go, let's do it, are done. Not done. But in other words, they're going to get left behind in a big, big way. Like this is a time to strap on the nitrous and the super boosters because everyone's about to get accelerated. That decided to take the step into purpose. But the people that are sitting still, they're going to be blown past. Like I, that's how I feel about what's going on right now.
Does that make, does that make any logical sense at all?
Charles Clay (59m 32s):
Yeah, totally resonates. Yeah. It's, it's, I made that up on the planet. Yeah. No, it's, um, and what is getting left behind look like? Eh, we don't know yet, you know? But, but, um, by really stepping into purpose, and that's what we get to do in the men's group is has helped men discover their true purpose and, and like getting this, you know, there's a wise man that said the root of all men suffering is from the inability to sit with oneself in silence.
So that in there lies this amazing opportunity that we've been granted to take a sacred pause and get to sit with ourselves and really see what's working, what's not, where we can make improvements and, and tune into that, um, that purpose. And a lot of times it's easier than we think. You know, if you're following your highest excitement, if you're following your, your highest joy, that's like your internal compass showing you, Hey, this is your direction for your purpose right now.
Follow that. And so, um, yeah, this is the work we get to do, um, to build leaders in this time and, and show others what's possible. Yeah. We're by, by stepping into that. Hmm.
Joshua T Berglan (1h 1m 1s):
I agree. Well, this is the last question that a respect to time and after you have your baby and you get settled in, I want you to come back because honestly, I had no idea. Like I shared at the beginning, like I don't do a lot of, I just, I like this natural hang thing. I don't want to plan questions with you. And then usually about three questions. Then I go, Oh my gosh, I've got about 8,000 more for somebody and you're one of those people. So I want to have you back on for sure. But the last question, um, that I want to ask you is how would you, I've got my own theory on how people discover their purpose.
What would you suggest? Like a very, very basic, minimal, maybe one, two, three step process that would at least get somebody within the the door crack of their purpose.
Charles Clay (1h 1m 53s):
Yeah, great question. Um, one, take a look at what you're good at. Like, what do you love doing? You know, what do you, what lights you up and any way that you love helping others. Just that simple being of service, whether it's you're a great listener, whether you're amazing at arts and crafts, or you're an incredible graphic designer, like stepping that allows people to really go full throttle into that, that highest level of excitement or service.
This is where longterm fulfillment lies in being. And, and it's brings something, it's like the money comes as a byproduct of that is this deep. And so follow that, the internal compass, our body always as the answers. If you follow your highest excitement and your joy and the way that you love helping people the most, and then just get clear on who you like helping, you know, and um, and reach out to them. And that's a great start.
That and that'll get you off path.
Joshua T Berglan (1h 3m 0s):
I, and, and, and Laura. And so to answer what he's saying, and that is all of those things, the things that you enjoy, the things that you love, the things that you're naturally good at, the passions that you have, that is God. Like God put that inside you. It's part of, it's a, it's a splinter of your DNA. Like when you were created, you were created with a purpose in mind before you were gleam in your daddy's eye. Like it's just, that's how it is.
And so that your life circumstances for you, you have really bad. You have, I think it was rheumatoid arthritis. I'm not talking to you Charles um, you know, and like the, but even your pains, your traumas, that's, that gets to be the fuel to drive your purpose because it gives you a lie. So the things that Laura, for you, in my opinion, the things that you're naturally good at tied in with the thing that you're fighting and overcoming. Like even though you haven't beat RA yet yet, even though you haven't beat that, like it's still the fuel for your purpose.
And then you take the things that you're naturally good at and you use that and you use it for other people. So, and if you haven't figured it out from that part yet, go serve, go volunteer, volunteer with an organization, uh, that matches your diagnosis. Those are the kinds of things that where it kind of wakens inside of you because it happens naturally. God will reveal it to you.
Charles Clay (1h 4m 33s):
Yup. Yeah. Add more, more acts of random kindness, you know, like, um, that will put you on that path of purpose. Yeah. And just being more of yourself, you know, finding those places inside of you that need more love and providing that finding alignment. And then from there you just get inspired action. It's like feeling the same energy that creates planets flow into you and through you and hallelujah.
Joshua T Berglan (1h 5m 5s):
I love that man. Listen, I, uh, Oh, one last thing here. So this a name and it's the ability of humility to ask for help for goals and prosperity with self, mind, spirit, and soul. That's Julie. Your, your comments are always so on point. Jessica too. And Sharon actually all of you. Yeah. I love all of you that are watching right now. Thank you. Um, there's always just like, they have really great insight. I think most of them are smarter than me and probably should be hosting this show, but, uh, Charles listen, man, um, this has been a gift and a blessing.
I pray that the audio quality was on point on my end to kind of skipped a little bit, but I, everything that you know, you said was just hit right at the heart. I appreciate you being real, um, vulnerable and, but I have to tell you my favorite thing of this entire interview was seeing the love for your wife and the excitement baby Sophia. That was, uh, that, that probably got me more fired up than any of the amazing stuff that you talked about.
But I'd love to have you back on, man. And maybe we can just do it live from Austin, Texas. Uh, instead. That sounds more fun to do this in person. That's awesome. Charles God bless you, man. Thank you for being here. And, uh, I'm gonna, uh, we're gonna have all of this, you know, the podcast. We'll be done. We'll get it up, get it, everything distributed out. We'll tag, we'll put your website and all your social media stuff because guys, everyone out there watching right now. If you're listening on the podcast, follow Charles and see what he's doing.
It just does an amazing, just an amazing human being. And even though he teaches men group men's groups, ladies, don't be afraid to reach out to him, but his wife will kick your butts. See you later. Bye. What a treat that guy is. Wow. I'm not even kidding. I think of all the amazing things I heard him say. Like I just seen his eyes light up when he talked about his wife and talked about his future child.
That, that to me it was my favorite. Uh, thank you Sharon for being here. Happy weekend Laura. Thank you. God bless you. I hope his wisdom helped you, Laura. Um, yeah. Charles was absolutely terrific. Todd Hart. Thank you buddy. Thank you for being here. God bless you. Window. What's up my man. Good to see you. Thank you for being here. Of course, Laura. That's why I'm kind of doing the chat thing now because you guys always ask great questions and just blessed to have you here. So really quick, give a shout out to the three 60 network.
Thank you for broadcasting the show. Thank you to everyone who shared, um, liked, commented. If you haven't shared already and you thought this was a great interview, please share it out with people. Um, and then also follow, follow Charles to, um, again, thank you to our sponsor. I am Conchita cosmetics, home of the lash app and curl that allows anyone who loves fake eyelashes. To apply the lashes, five you consider less. Check out the seven different types of fo make far lashes we have, and the eyeliner glue.
God bless you and we'll see you Monday. Bye.